A new genre of semi-aquatic Provo residents just dropped! In a shocking turn of events, a freak accident in the LSB caused a cascade of toxic, possibly radioactive ooze down the slopes surrounding the building. These contaminants found their way towards the beloved south campus duck pond causing a complete (and totally rad!) metamorphosis among some of the local fauna.  When questioned about his involvement, … Continue reading LSB Chemical Spill Contaminates Duck Pond, Creates Teenage Mutant Ninja Mallards.

Students across BYU campus are calling for action after a recent emergency birth occurred in the worst building on campus. Jennica Nielson, a returned missionary of 10 months, was in her “Intro to Motherhood” class at  Thomas L. Martin Building (more infamously known as the MARB), when right at 9:49, her water suddenly broke. Her gasp of surprise, along with the subsequent contractions, however, were … Continue reading Crowded MARB Hallways Force Emergency Classroom Birth