BYU Store Unveils Partnership with “Spirit Rings”

In an effort to promote greater health and worthiness among the local student body, the BYU Store has announced a new product available: Spirit Rings. These will provide students with valuable information about their heart rate, sleep patterns, and testimony strength, among other statistics.  Spirit Rings CEO, John Aura, said that the rings offer more in depth information than just a few health stats.  “These … Continue reading BYU Store Unveils Partnership with “Spirit Rings”

BYU Store Employee Under HCO Investigation After Launching “June Month” Clothing Line

  The Honor Code Office has placed the latest line of BYU merch on hold as they investigate its designer, an intern left to his own devices. Here’s what you’re missing out on in the meantime. Needless to say, students are outraged that the clothing is not currently available for purchase. There are rumors that bootleg versions may soon arrive on the market instead. Continue reading BYU Store Employee Under HCO Investigation After Launching “June Month” Clothing Line

BYU Benson Building to be Renamed the “Benson Boone” Building 

A mystical, magical moment in BYU history, the Benson building will be renamed in the singer’s honor to celebrate his new album. Driving down I-15, there are several billboards advertising Benson Boone’s upcoming American Heart Tour. What drivers may not have noticed, however, is the fine print at the bottom of the billboard, which says, “BYU Benson Boone Building coming soon.”  Just yesterday, BYU announced … Continue reading BYU Benson Building to be Renamed the “Benson Boone” Building 

Zendaya Will Buy Her Wedding Dress from Affordable Bridal on University Avenue

  We got the inside scoop on Zendaya’s upcoming nuptials, and they’re even more fabulous and Utahan than we could have ever hoped. Zendaya was seen at the Met Gala this month, once again flashing her $200,000 engagement ring. “Tomdaya” fans were thrilled by the news of her engagement to movie star Tom Holland earlier this year. However, these devoted shippers were disappointed when People … Continue reading Zendaya Will Buy Her Wedding Dress from Affordable Bridal on University Avenue

CES Headmaster Clark Gilbert Sorts Professors Into 4 Houses Based on Orthodoxy, Saves BYU

This morning, LDS Church Commissioner of Education, Clark Griswold Gilbert took the stage at BYU’s 2025 graduation ceremony to remind everyone he went to Harvard and then give the commencement address.    In the address, Commissioner Gilbert reviewed all of the disruption that he’s innovated over his past four years in office before announcing that he will be the permanent commencement speaker at BYU graduations … Continue reading CES Headmaster Clark Gilbert Sorts Professors Into 4 Houses Based on Orthodoxy, Saves BYU