Category: News

Featured, News

Cosmo Unmasked: These People Seen Walking into Cosmo the Cougar Tryouts.

This week, BYU held its annual Cosmo and Dunk Team tryouts. Dozens of people came to show off their skills and try to become America’s best mascot. Our reporters were stationed outside the tryouts to get a glimpse into who could be the next Cosmo the Cougar. We saw many masters of stunts, dance, and showmanship walk in. Could one of these people be the … Continue reading Cosmo Unmasked: These People Seen Walking into Cosmo the Cougar Tryouts.

Swedish Chef
Featured, News, Sports

CougarTail Sales Skyrocket after Cosmo “Tailgate”

Starting in the second half of Saturday’s football game against Arizona, CougarTails have been rapidly selling out at all available venues. Though the exact reason is unconfirmed, we have our suspicions. “Ever since the halftime show, I’ve just felt a constant need to have a CougarTail in my mouth. No idea why,” said BYU student Bryson Dyson, who has consumed several dozen since the incident. … Continue reading CougarTail Sales Skyrocket after Cosmo “Tailgate”

Don Cheadle
Featured, News, Provo

BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

In the wake of the various fourth of July bush fires seen over the weekend, President Monson’s popular 2013 talk about starting a wild fire has been deemed the primary cause BYU student Bernie Burns was brought into custody early on July 6th after coming forth as the culprit of one of many fires started over the holiday weekend. The fires came as a shock … Continue reading BYU student lights mountain on fire after misunderstanding old conference talk

Frank Heffley
Featured, News

‘The Book of Mormon’ Musical to Update Production Due to Rapid Increase of Sister Missionaries

As the Tony-winning “The Book of Mormon’ musical passes its fifteenth anniversary, the creators of the show have announced updates to modernize it after being forced to reckon with the reality of women existing. “We saw that 70% of the missionaries going out are now women, so we saw the need to update our musical so that we can be more accurate in being offensive.” … Continue reading ‘The Book of Mormon’ Musical to Update Production Due to Rapid Increase of Sister Missionaries

Montresor3 Comments
Featured, News

Utah County Offers Bounty Money For Helping to Bring Down Invasive Population of FSY Kids

As temperatures rise, Utah County officials are preparing measures to control the invasive populations of FSY Kids that will soon erupt at the two universities in the county. “It just destroys the local food chain, the native college students find it extremely difficult to find uncrowded feeding areas,” says local expert Tracy Mulholland. Locals expressed excitement over the potential of easy money. Utah County is … Continue reading Utah County Offers Bounty Money For Helping to Bring Down Invasive Population of FSY Kids

Montresor