Category: Sports

Featured, News, Sports

BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa

In light of recent drama within BYU athletics, it should come as no surprise that another scandal has been brewing in secret right here in Provo. Clay Baker, a finance student from springville Utah, is currently under investigation by the Honor Code Office after admitting to having a “mancrush” on BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa. “The purity of our students is our utmost priority” says … Continue reading BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa

Frank HeffleyLeave a comment
Featured, News, Sports

Vocal Point, BYUSA to Host Alternate Alternate Halftime Show for People Who Are Racist but Don’t Want to Watch Kid Rock

Local racists have been worried about having to choose between the official Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny, who isn’t white, and Turning Point USA’s alternate show featuring Kid Rock, who writes music that isn’t good. Luckily, BYUSA partnered with Vocal Point to present a third option. “We encourage all students to observe the Sabbath by avoiding unholy music and instead getting hyped for … Continue reading Vocal Point, BYUSA to Host Alternate Alternate Halftime Show for People Who Are Racist but Don’t Want to Watch Kid Rock

Don CheadleLeave a comment
Featured, News, Sports

Oklahoma State Students Show Respect For BYU By Chanting “F*** the Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!”

Athletes of Brigham Young University have long since become used to the “F*** the Mormons!” chants that have broken out during away events. But when the Oklahoma State student section broke into their chant, something was a little different this time. “I just feel so respected,” said BYU forward Scott Riggs. “It shows that they’ve really done their research so that they can hate us … Continue reading Oklahoma State Students Show Respect For BYU By Chanting “F*** the Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!”

Montresor
Featured, Provo, Sports

Revealed: BYU Hockey Team Was Axed Due to Prophetic Vision of “Heated Rivalry”

After five long years of fans wondering why their beloved team was canceled, the BYU administration finally revealed their reasoning for discontinuing the school’s long running hockey team.   Administration released a rambling statement, citing concerns over thirst trap edits being made of the players as one of their prime reasons.   “We couldn’t let the fujoshis come and ogle our hockey players like that.” … Continue reading Revealed: BYU Hockey Team Was Axed Due to Prophetic Vision of “Heated Rivalry”

Montresor
Featured, News, Sports

Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Pop into the family group chat to congratulate your dad on his new position, because just yesterday it was announced that your dad will be replacing former defensive coordinator, Jay Hill. Hill recently betrayed BYU when he transferred to the Michigan staff, but the BYU football team is optimistic that this change is for the better.  “We know that y/n’s dad is going to make … Continue reading Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Swedish Chef