Category: Uncategorized

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LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

On Sunday, October 19th, at approximately 9:30 am, student thieves wielding American Heritage textbooks broke into the MOA with SWIG in hand before escaping on the UVX with valuable statues in their pockets.  Immediately following the crime, Brigham Young emerged from the grave to express his congratulations to the students who managed to escape with no trace. “No Canva, no Learning Suite, just some good … Continue reading LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

Kim Possible
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REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

According to recent polls among BYU students, people feel more inspired by this Ron Swanson knockoff than by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. While conference has generated a significant amount of buzz related to our new prophet and first presidency, this guy continues to overpower all old-man-related gossip.  Whispers generated from the grapevine reveal that this guy is immortal and will … Continue reading REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

Kim Possible
Uncategorized

12 New Sacred Hymns Added to the Hymn Book

Recently, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints added twelve new hymns to the hymn book. These hymns are part of a new hymn book being released in 2026. Music leaders have expressed special enthusiasm for number 12. New Hymns:   1. Take Me to Church – Hozier 2. Once There was a Snowman 3. Holy – Justin Bieber 4. State of Grace – … Continue reading 12 New Sacred Hymns Added to the Hymn Book

Swedish Chef
Featured, Uncategorized

Elder Cook Just Celebrated His 85th Birthday Alone

The Alternate Universe has learned that Elder Quentin L. Cook celebrated his September 8th birthday all alone, because everyone was too excited about President Nelson’s 101st birthday on the 9th. In an interview with Elder Cook, he stated, “I sent out lots of invitations, and even bought a cake, but nobody came.  At first, I thought they were hiding to surprise me, which seems like … Continue reading Elder Cook Just Celebrated His 85th Birthday Alone

Kayteigh Leigh
Campus, Featured, Uncategorized

BYU STEM Career Fair Shut Down Early Due to Mysterious Odor in Wilkinson Ballroom

Internship application season is in full swing, and many students at BYU are trying to obtain that coveted internship. Amazingly, BYU has partnered with employers from all over the country to help make that a reality for students. One such event for that process was held today – the STEM Career Fair.  All seemed well at the fair, until students started arriving in droves. Employers … Continue reading BYU STEM Career Fair Shut Down Early Due to Mysterious Odor in Wilkinson Ballroom

Kayteigh Leigh