Kennedy Center Announces “Turkish Trichology” Study Abroad for Students Seeking Hair Plugs

At the heart of global engagement at Brigham Young University is the acclaimed David M. Kennedy Center for International Studies. As more and more students are participating in study abroad programs every year, the institution has announced a brand new program that will take students to Turkey to study hair and scalp health–as well as receive hair transplants for many a balding cougar.   BYU … Continue reading Kennedy Center Announces “Turkish Trichology” Study Abroad for Students Seeking Hair Plugs

Gay Mountain Saves Cosmo From Vecna

If you’ve been following the Alternate Universe lately, you’ve seen the alarming news that Cosmo, as well as eleven other mascots were abducted. While this was devastating for the community, it wasn’t long before BYU made its comeback. In a shocking turn of events, Gay Mountain, who came out last year, rose to the occasion. Through intense seismic activity, Gay Mountain defeated the mascot’s abductor, … Continue reading Gay Mountain Saves Cosmo From Vecna

General Authorities Report Visions of Cosmo in Vecna’s Lair. 11 Other Mascots Missing.

This morning, general authorities reported visions of Cosmo abducted in a strange, vine-like lair. News reports have confirmed the abduction of 11 other mascots as well. With great interest, reporters coaxed a vague description our of our dear prophet. “What I saw…it was like Nephi’s vision of the great and spacious building…but silmier and with more squishy sounds,” he shared, visibly disturbed. While many people … Continue reading General Authorities Report Visions of Cosmo in Vecna’s Lair. 11 Other Mascots Missing.

Sexiest YSA Callings Ranked

Now, does this mean we’re ranking how sexy the people who generally have these callings are, or how sexy the callings themselves are? The interpretation is up to you. From sexiest to least sexy, here are the YSA callings ranked by our staff: Temple worker Bishop’s wife Sunday School Instructor Relief Society Instructor Elder Quorum President  Relief Society President  Munch and Mingle Committee Ward greeters … Continue reading Sexiest YSA Callings Ranked

LEAKED: President Oaks Only Changed Missionary Age to Save His Granddaughter From Her High School Boyfriend

After taking a lie detector test on his YouTube channel, President Oaks admitted that this shocking new policy change was only made to resolve personal beef with a minor. Without spoiling too many of the changes he plans on making during his future reign as prophet, Oaks admitted, “It is anticipated that the age will go back to 19 when she comes home and joins a … Continue reading LEAKED: President Oaks Only Changed Missionary Age to Save His Granddaughter From Her High School Boyfriend