Tag: Sports

Campus, Featured, Sports

Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

After spending his rookie season getting smashed by 300-pound NFL veterans, Zach Wilson decided to smash someone his own size. Former BYU Quarterback and apparent mom lover, Zach Wilson, was the talk of the town yesterday. Instead of enjoying his Sabbath in peace, he was trending on Twitter for a surprising reason. Dax Milne, Wilson’s former roommate and current Eskimo brother, posted a picture on … Continue reading Living Up to His Name: Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to be Zach Wilson’s Secret Older Lover

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

After losing the important game of his career, Burrow only can blame one person: himself. The Bengals lost a close, hard-fought game this Sunday. On the sidelines, word got out that Joe Burrow had not paid his tithing that month. The Alternate Universe received an exclusive interview with Burrow because we’re just cool like that. “I can only blame myself at this point,” Joe Burrow … Continue reading Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

As Super Bowl Sunday is upon us once again, we can finally enjoy the culmination of years training from athletes who are, and will always be, better than you. But on this year’s Super Bowl Sunday, you can look forward to a visit from people who are not, and will never be, better than you: your ministers. The Church has noticed a strange trend in … Continue reading Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

Bobby Zimmeruski
Sports

Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Our BYU Cougar football team represented our school well this year. With impressive showings against every team not located in Boise, BYU finished the season with a very exceptional resume. As one of the top teams in College Football, BYU was in contention for a prestigious bowl game. But even after asserting their dominance over five PAC-12 teams this season, BYU was not offered a … Continue reading Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Bobby Zimmeruski