As we kick off 2026, your FHE crush is still completely unaware that you were an Assistant to the President on your mission, but never fear! Try these 6 tips to win her heart without losing the aloof persona you’ve spent all semester crafting.
- Consistently bring up how much time you spent in the office: This can be done as you do your marketing homework or play guitar in her apartment. If she asks what your role was in the office, act all secretive and talk about your max bench press instead.
- Invite her to your intramural basketball game: This kills two birds with one stone: Not only does she see you sleeveless, but you can also shout, “Nice assist! That actually reminds me of when I…”
- Admit you were AP in your mission language. Save this for moments when she’s talking to other guys. She won’t know what you said, but she’ll be reminded that you speak a more obscure language than they do, and thus have more value.
- Take every opportunity to compare her with your mission president’s wife. This shows that you were close to your mission leaders and got to know them really well.
- Remind her how charitable you are: Feel free to interrupt the conversation at any time to mention how much you miss serving missionaries and responding to emergencies. Remember, she would much rather be impressed than listened to.
- Take brief moments to lovingly remind her of areas where she needs improvement. She’ll love that you see her potential, and will be so impressed by how much of Preach My Gospel you have memorized.
Don’t let those 4 transfers of assisting go to waste, Elder. Give these tips a try and we can promise you an engagement by March. The field is white and ready to harvest!