Here at The Alternate Universe, we receive all kinds of messages–ransom notes, declarations of love and adoration, world domination plans, you name it. As of late, we have received a particular influx of paranormal reports. Specifically, we are receiving accounts of cryptid sightings on BYU campus. As your primary source of the latest news, we are morally and legally obligated to provide you with the … Continue reading Campus Cryptids You Should Know About
The free t-shirt in the Wilk is every student’s favorite part of Honor Week. In fact, it’s probably the only reason any student is water that Honor Week is even a thing. However, concerns are being raised that these T-shirts may be more destructive than they are honorable, as one student has taken it upon himself to use the shirt to disobey as many policies … Continue reading Student Breaks As Many Honor Code Rules As Possible Using Honor Week T-Shirt
As the new year ushers in significant changes—a new president, the beginning of Gen-Beta, and, for you BYU cougs, the onset of a quarter-life crisis—it’s hard for President Russell M. Nelson to say all of these shifts are for the better. The 100-year-old leader has specifically pointed to the new TikTok ban as a major setback for his year. “I had at least 200 drafts … Continue reading President Nelson “Truly Saddened” By TikTok Ban
In a catastrophic turn of events, the famed Brigham’s Wagon food truck has reportedly been devoured by a horde of belligerent locusts. Witnesses watched in horror as the voracious insects—believed to number no less than 10 million—descended upon the truck, irresistibly drawn by the scent of Wagon Tots and Handcart Tacos. BYU freshman Ryan Smith recounted: “It was like they knew exactly what they were … Continue reading Brigham’s Wagon Utterly Consumed By Locusts
It is once again time for the beloved Giving Machines to start popping up for the holiday season. This initiative from the LDS Church is an admirable effort to support humanitarianism and kindness. However, recent reports are revealing that this push for charity has left some demographics feeling alienated; particularly the Utah County upper class. In order to bridge this gap, Brileigheigh Lee, local trust … Continue reading New Giving Machines + Offer Donations to the Wealthy
