Author: Marceline Abadeer

Featured, Sports

We’re Saved! Boy Who Throws Ball Real Good Agrees to Come to BYU for $1 Billion

Fortune has smiled upon the Lord’s University once again. Ryker Tygers, one of the nation’s top players, has graciously offered his services to the Cougs for a small remittance of one billion dollars. Just when things were starting to look bleak at the Y, the university is thrilled to be one step closer to being better than everyone else.   BYU Athletics expressed their excitement: … Continue reading We’re Saved! Boy Who Throws Ball Real Good Agrees to Come to BYU for $1 Billion

Marceline Abadeer
Featured

BYU Bans Russia in Response to Recent Blacklisting

The Russian government has officially added Brigham Young University to its list of “undesirable” organizations that are banned from operating in Russia. This has been a shocking development for both students and faculty. However, administration has made it clear that Coug Nation will not be mocked in such a manner. This week, BYU has clapped back through a ban of their own in retaliation. Upon … Continue reading BYU Bans Russia in Response to Recent Blacklisting

Marceline Abadeer
Featured, Provo

Top Places To Have A DTR This Summer

It may be wedding season, but it is also situationship season. Here are some locations that present the perfect environment to ask them, “what are we?” The HBLL Study Rooms The reserved study rooms are a great way to promote professionalism in your conversation and makes your intentions clear. The whiteboards are also great if you need to present visual aids. At Tunnel Singing If … Continue reading Top Places To Have A DTR This Summer

Marceline Abadeer
Featured, Provo

Utah Parents Unlock Best New Baby Name: Tariff Marie Brooks

In a beautiful baby blessing in the Provo 50078th ward this morning, Arjax and Brinzlee Brooks proudly introduced their 9th child to the world with a name that left the congregation both bewildered and inspired: Tariff Marie Brooks. The congregation watched in shock as Brother Brooks held Tariff to his American flag tie and kissed her tiny head. At the conclusion of the blessing, silence … Continue reading Utah Parents Unlock Best New Baby Name: Tariff Marie Brooks

Marceline Abadeer1 Comment
conference, Featured, General Conference

Heinous Criminal Redistributes Conference Broadcast, Struck Down

Local man Jordan P. Jensen is in critical condition after redistributing segments of this weekend’s LDS General Conference broadcast without written consent — an act which, according to ancient legal scrolls, shattered a sacred copyright seal and summoned the long dormant fury of Bonneville Distribution. The broadcast, which begins with the famous warning, “This broadcast is furnished as a public service by Bonneville Distribution. Any … Continue reading Heinous Criminal Redistributes Conference Broadcast, Struck Down

Marceline Abadeer1 Comment