Here at The Alternate Universe, we receive all kinds of messages–ransom notes, declarations of love and adoration, world domination plans, you name it. As of late, we have received a particular influx of paranormal reports. Specifically, we are receiving accounts of cryptid sightings on BYU campus. As your primary source of the latest news, we are morally and legally obligated to provide you with the … Continue reading Campus Cryptids You Should Know About
In a controversial announcement, BYU has announced that the long-awaited replacement for the Harris Fine Arts Center was designed by a generative AI model, a first in the field of architecture. “The new Aarts Billdng represents our campus’s greatest step forward in architecture since the JKB,” a BYU spokesman said. In front of the building, a statue of former BYU President Franklin S. Harris beckons … Continue reading BYU Announces New Arts Building is Designed by AI
After losing the Super Bowl to the Eagles 40-22, Andy Reid was seen crying and singing “You’re Not Your Mistakes” in a dark corner of the locker room. “I have no words of my own. Only the words of EFY can help me now,” said Reid. Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift were also seen singing “I Am a Child of God.” Continue reading Andy Reid Seen Crying, Singing “You’re Not Your Mistakes”
With recent test scores trending downward and BYU’s academic image on the line, administrators decided to see whether it would be beneficial for test-takers to swap three bites of cheese for a clean 20mg of actual amphetamines. “This will be great because I’ve always felt like I have ADHD,” said student Nero T. Pickle, who exhibits exactly 0 symptoms of ADHD. “My friends can’t take … Continue reading Testing Center Vending Machines Replace String Cheese with Adderall
Due to the unfortunate heat-trapping of greenhouse gases and shrinking of ice glaciers, the church has decided that it is unethical to keep this beloved hymn in the primary hymn book. “I’m going to miss this song, however, every time I think of it now, I can’t help but imagine all the polar bears who are losing their homes as we speak,” said Sister Smith, … Continue reading “Once There Was A Snowman” Removed from the Primary Hymnbook Due to Global Warming
