Category: Sports

Featured, Sports

Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

After losing the important game of his career, Burrow only can blame one person: himself. The Bengals lost a close, hard-fought game this Sunday. On the sidelines, word got out that Joe Burrow had not paid his tithing that month. The Alternate Universe received an exclusive interview with Burrow because we’re just cool like that. “I can only blame myself at this point,” Joe Burrow … Continue reading Joe Burrow loses Super Bowl after not paying tithing

Bobby Zimmeruski
Featured, Sports

Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

As Super Bowl Sunday is upon us once again, we can finally enjoy the culmination of years training from athletes who are, and will always be, better than you. But on this year’s Super Bowl Sunday, you can look forward to a visit from people who are not, and will never be, better than you: your ministers. The Church has noticed a strange trend in … Continue reading Ministering Rates Mysteriously Increase on Super Bowl Sunday

Bobby Zimmeruski
Life, Sports

Fred Warner and Daniel Sorensen grateful they lost championship games so they could attend church today

Two weeks ago, Daniel Sorensen and the Kansas City Chiefs lost the AFC Championship. A few hours later, Fred Warner and the San Francisco 49ers lost the NFC Championship. They were both bitter about not making it to the Super Bowl, but after much reflection they changed their tune. Normally during the NFL season, they are not able to attend Sunday services. Because of their … Continue reading Fred Warner and Daniel Sorensen grateful they lost championship games so they could attend church today

Cameron Frye
Featured, News, Sports

BYUtv Boxing Day Highlights: “Hunk Smith” vs. Hasbulla

One of America’s most highly anticipated holidays is finally here. This year, as always, BYUtv has lined up quite the Boxing Day talent. With opponents such as Laman vs. Lemuel, Mitt Romney vs. Obama, and Cosmo the Cougar vs. Costco the Ocelot, families all over the globe are tuning in to watch the blood fall. The match this morning, Hasbulla vs. “Hunk Smith”, has already … Continue reading BYUtv Boxing Day Highlights: “Hunk Smith” vs. Hasbulla

Lisa Simpson
Sports

Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Our BYU Cougar football team represented our school well this year. With impressive showings against every team not located in Boise, BYU finished the season with a very exceptional resume. As one of the top teams in College Football, BYU was in contention for a prestigious bowl game. But even after asserting their dominance over five PAC-12 teams this season, BYU was not offered a … Continue reading Report: BYU rejected bid for Hruska’s Kolaches Bowl before choosing to play in prestigious Independence Bowl

Bobby Zimmeruski