Student Breaks As Many Honor Code Rules As Possible Using Honor Week T-Shirt
The free t-shirt in the Wilk is every student’s favorite part of Honor Week. In fact, it’s probably the only reason any student is water that Honor Week is even a thing. However, concerns are being raised that these T-shirts may be more destructive than they are honorable, as one student has taken it upon himself to use the shirt to disobey as many policies … Continue reading Student Breaks As Many Honor Code Rules As Possible Using Honor Week T-Shirt
MIRACLE: BYU shuttle manages to fit 95% of student population in just one trip. Saves 33,000 students from having to walk less than 1 mile home.
The closing of a prayer at 2:50pm marks the end of another class period on BYU campus for hundreds of students, ushering them to the bus stop to board the famous BYU shuttle, The Ryde, for their trip home. Though this transportation system is famous for transporting impressive quantities of students from campus to their overpriced apartment buildings, it had not yet realized its full … Continue reading MIRACLE: BYU shuttle manages to fit 95% of student population in just one trip. Saves 33,000 students from having to walk less than 1 mile home.
Distraught Student Confesses Textbook Piracy to Bishop
As a new semester dawns, students across campus confront astronomical textbook prices and some turn to less-than-legitimate sources for class materials. In an interview with his bishop earlier this morning, freshman Ammon Zedekiahson confessed to engaging in the unthinkable: downloading pirated textbooks off a shady website. “I just couldn’t deal with the guilt,” Zedekiahson said through tears. “I’ve never done something this terrible.” Jeremy Jensen, … Continue reading Distraught Student Confesses Textbook Piracy to Bishop
Donald Trump Renames Utah Lake to “BYU Lake”
President Donald Trump signed an executive order Thursday night changing the name of Utah Lake to BYU Lake. According to him, “It’s a change everyone has been wanting. ‘B-Y-U Lake’ just has a much better ring. BYU will reclaim its rightful place as the greatest, most powerful, most respected university on earth inspiring the awe, admiration of the entire world. We are changing the name … Continue reading Donald Trump Renames Utah Lake to “BYU Lake”
Is the New Utah Flag Woke?
Vexillologists and incels alike have argued that the recently implemented redesign of our state flag is far more progressive and inclusive than Brigham Young ever intended for Utah to be. And after careful examination, we’ve discovered that they are right to be outraged. Let’s start with the obvious one. The woke mob is obsessed with including people, and in this case, they just had to … Continue reading Is the New Utah Flag Woke?
