How To Tell If Your Roommate Can Really Handle That Scary Movie

With the arrival of October, BYU students have begun the annual Reaping. Of movie partners, that is. “It’s a delicate process,” Miranda Mitchell, a dedicated horror nerd and Film Studies major, told me as she glanced furtively around the quad. “You have to send out signals without alerting the SOs of what you’re planning.” The SOs, or “Sheltered Ones,” are those BYU students who weren’t … Continue reading How To Tell If Your Roommate Can Really Handle That Scary Movie

REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

According to recent polls among BYU students, people feel more inspired by this Ron Swanson knockoff than by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. While conference has generated a significant amount of buzz related to our new prophet and first presidency, this guy continues to overpower all old-man-related gossip.  Whispers generated from the grapevine reveal that this guy is immortal and will … Continue reading REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute

Having seemingly procrastinated until the day before General Conference weekend, a panicked Elder Ronald A. Rasband has been spotted trying to crank out his entire talk in one night. “general conferenfce talk ~20 mintues make it sounds like not ai pls thansk,” Rasband was seen typing into ChatGPT around 6:00 on Friday night. Every General Conference speaker is expected to submit a copy of their … Continue reading Elder Rasband Seen Writing Entire Conference Talk Last Minute