What Would Happen if BYU Upheld the 9 Accidental Acceptance Letters

Recently, BYU sent acceptance letters to 9,879 freshman applicants. A week later, nine of them were told that theirs were an accident, and that they would not be able to attend BYU. Here’s why BYU could not afford to let these nine students attend despite the error.   Famine With nearly 40,000 students already enrolled at BYU Provo, food can be hard to come by. … Continue reading What Would Happen if BYU Upheld the 9 Accidental Acceptance Letters

12 New Sacred Hymns Added to the Hymn Book

Twelve new hymns were added to the hymn book this week. This is part of the church’s initiative to release a full new hymn book by mid-2027. Leaders are confident that these new songs will inspire the spirit in upcoming sacrament meetings. Here are the new songs: 1. Believer – Imagine Dragons 2. Religion – Lana Del Rey 3. Sign of the Times – Harry … Continue reading 12 New Sacred Hymns Added to the Hymn Book

BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa

In light of recent drama within BYU athletics, it should come as no surprise that another scandal has been brewing in secret right here in Provo. Clay Baker, a finance student from springville Utah, is currently under investigation by the Honor Code Office after admitting to having a “mancrush” on BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa. “The purity of our students is our utmost priority” says … Continue reading BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa

Man Claims He is Off the Market Purely by Choice

In this society, a man only has one choice: marry an 18-year-old girl during his first semester back from the mission, or join the manosphere. The choice is brutal, but the world is a dark place. No one knows this better than Benson Eubranks. When asked how he decided to take himself off the market, Eubranks replied, “To stay in a power position, I’ve decided … Continue reading Man Claims He is Off the Market Purely by Choice

Local Utahn Plagued After Praying for “Moisture” Instead of Rain

After what seemed a typical bedtime prayer, local Utahn John Henry, 65, accidentally cursed himself by praying for “moisture” instead of rain. “I’ve always prayed for moisture. It never even occurred to me that I could just pray for rain instead,” admitted Henry. “Apparently God got fed up with my requests.” Upon saying such a fateful prayer, Henry reported waking up in a cold sweat … Continue reading Local Utahn Plagued After Praying for “Moisture” Instead of Rain