Category: Featured

Campus, Featured

FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

At the tender age of 14, Jayden faced grave temptation after ending his camp experience with not one, but seven crushes of the week. “I’m trying not to lust after the desires of my heart, but it’s so hard–all these girls are so desirable. My prepubescent brain is so conflicted,” stated Jayden Miller, who is the proud owner of exactly three chest hairs. Throughout the … Continue reading FSY Kid Seriously Considers Polygamy After Ending Week with Multiple COWS

Kim PossibleLeave a comment
Featured, Life, News

BYU Store Unveils Partnership with “Spirit Rings”

In an effort to promote greater health and worthiness among the local student body, the BYU Store has announced a new product available: Spirit Rings. These will provide students with valuable information about their heart rate, sleep patterns, and testimony strength, among other statistics.  Spirit Rings CEO, John Aura, said that the rings offer more in depth information than just a few health stats.  “These … Continue reading BYU Store Unveils Partnership with “Spirit Rings”

Paul HollywoodLeave a comment
Featured

BYU Bans Russia in Response to Recent Blacklisting

The Russian government has officially added Brigham Young University to its list of “undesirable” organizations that are banned from operating in Russia. This has been a shocking development for both students and faculty. However, administration has made it clear that Coug Nation will not be mocked in such a manner. This week, BYU has clapped back through a ban of their own in retaliation. Upon … Continue reading BYU Bans Russia in Response to Recent Blacklisting

Marceline AbadeerLeave a comment
Featured, Life, News

BYU Store Employee Under HCO Investigation After Launching “June Month” Clothing Line

  The Honor Code Office has placed the latest line of BYU merch on hold as they investigate its designer, an intern left to his own devices. Here’s what you’re missing out on in the meantime. Needless to say, students are outraged that the clothing is not currently available for purchase. There are rumors that bootleg versions may soon arrive on the market instead. Continue reading BYU Store Employee Under HCO Investigation After Launching “June Month” Clothing Line

Don CheadleLeave a comment
Featured

BREAKING: Satan Drops Brand New Streaming Service “VidDevil”

You’re sitting in your living room–feet up, popcorn in hand, prepared to enjoy a wholesome movie night with the people you love most. Before long, you realize the once family-friendly movie you all cherished has been replaced with a profane, sensual, and extremely violent alternative. Suddenly, “The Parent Trap” has new meaning.  Say hello to VidDevil, the streaming service from hell. Sometimes you want to … Continue reading BREAKING: Satan Drops Brand New Streaming Service “VidDevil”

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