Category: Featured

Featured, General Conference, Sports

BYU Football Just Not the Same Without Gambling

Hours after President Christofferson’s anti-gambling talk, thousands of fans feel less inclined to follow football now that there is no money in it. In the Saturday morning session of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ General Conference leader President D. Todd Christofferson gave a seminal talk about the immorality of gambling, and discouraging members from participating in any form, including sports betting. This re-emphasis … Continue reading BYU Football Just Not the Same Without Gambling

Chuck Bartowski2 Comments
Campus, Featured

Students Camp Out in Wilk to Get Good Spot in Microwave Line

Barricading began at 5 a.m. in preparation for the 1 p.m. lunch rush. By 10 a.m., students began facing biological setbacks. “I had to ask my buddy to bring me diapers so my pee wouldn’t make me lose my spot in line,” said Joe Becker, who is allegedly potty trained. When the dedicated students finally started taking turns with the microwave, their suffering reached a … Continue reading Students Camp Out in Wilk to Get Good Spot in Microwave Line

Kim Possible1 Comment
Featured, News, Uncategorized

Sheeran Tour Profits Tank, Forced to Join BYU Vocal Point

Ed Sheeran, the music industry’s latest public target, has been effectively shamed off of his own tour, giving the musician no choice but to unite with BYU’s favorite boy band to save face.  The “Photograph” singer was seen last week knocking on doors in the Music Building, looking for someone who could get him out of the pickle he’s found himself in. Luckily, he was … Continue reading Sheeran Tour Profits Tank, Forced to Join BYU Vocal Point

Marceline Abadeer
Featured, News

Cosmo Unmasked: These People Seen Walking into Cosmo the Cougar Tryouts.

This week, BYU held its annual Cosmo and Dunk Team tryouts. Dozens of people came to show off their skills and try to become America’s best mascot. Our reporters were stationed outside the tryouts to get a glimpse into who could be the next Cosmo the Cougar. We saw many masters of stunts, dance, and showmanship walk in. Could one of these people be the … Continue reading Cosmo Unmasked: These People Seen Walking into Cosmo the Cougar Tryouts.

Swedish Chef
Featured, News, Sports

CougarTail Sales Skyrocket after Cosmo “Tailgate”

Starting in the second half of Saturday’s football game against Arizona, CougarTails have been rapidly selling out at all available venues. Though the exact reason is unconfirmed, we have our suspicions. “Ever since the halftime show, I’ve just felt a constant need to have a CougarTail in my mouth. No idea why,” said BYU student Bryson Dyson, who has consumed several dozen since the incident. … Continue reading CougarTail Sales Skyrocket after Cosmo “Tailgate”

Don Cheadle