Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live
He can shotgun two rootbeers at one time. He doesn’t own one pair of actual pants. Once, he tried hot sauce. He is, the toughest, coolest man in the world. You’ve probably seen him around campus but have been too intimidated to approach him. His name is Drayden Owens, and he doesn’t give a fr*k how cold it is outside- he’s wearing shorts. “His white calves … Continue reading Guy Who Wears Shorts in Winter May Be Coolest, Toughest Man to Ever Live
Homemade crystal meth diffuses around Heritage Halls building, students in the vicinity still high
On February 20th, A Heritage Halls student, who is somehow over the age of 18, formed a methamphetamine cloud while making homemade crystal meth. When University Police arrived, the top floor of the building was cloudy. “We could only see two feet in front of ourselves,” says Joe Bob, BYU’s Chief of Police. “It was an honest mistake. Just make sure to take Chem … Continue reading Homemade crystal meth diffuses around Heritage Halls building, students in the vicinity still high
Student mistakes Putin as a General Authority
It is a well known fact that college students love engaging in political debates. However, this Tuesday things got really heated when Omni Christensen jumped into an argument about the recent events between Russia and Ukraine. “I just don’t think you should talk about Elder Putin that way,” he was heard saying angrily to his classmates. Following the stunned silence, he felt the need to … Continue reading Student mistakes Putin as a General Authority
In Honor of President’s Day: Four Truths and a Lie About President Nelson
What better way to sustain our church leaders and general authorities than by celebrating the holiday made just for them: President’s day! Faithful church members around the world will be celebrating our beloved prophet, President Nelson, all day today. In honor of this great day, here’s four truths and a lie about President Russell M. Nelson. Russell the Wilderness Explorer from the Pixar movie Up … Continue reading In Honor of President’s Day: Four Truths and a Lie About President Nelson
BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat
This past Tuesday, Billy Eilish started off his shift at his newly acquired gym job with a plan to change the world. “I had been working at the [BYU Gym] for about two weeks and the music was driving me insane,” Billy told the Alternate Universe. “After hearing exclusively Coldplay and Imagine Dragons for two straight weeks, I was ready to be swallowed in the … Continue reading BYU Gym Employee Fired After Playing Music With an Actual Beat
