5 Things to Do After You Open Your Christmas Presents
Every Christmas at 9:04 am, the world faces a predicament: What do you do after opening your presents? This year, there is a solution. #5 Scroll Instagram You can check that one off now. Maybe do a shot of eggnog for each picture of parents with kids on the floor. #4 Scroll Snapchat Check out the zoom in on your friend’s grandpa asleep in his … Continue reading 5 Things to Do After You Open Your Christmas Presents
Kevin Worthen Found Alone, Crying Under the Mistletoe
Papa Kev is down bad As you have most likely seen by now, recent pictures have been revealed of honor-code abiding Pete Davidson and the most powerful person at BYU, Peggy Worthen, chatting it up court side at a recent BYU basketball game. Whether this is Davidson’s way of beating the admissions process or just another stop on his quest to date every woman in … Continue reading Kevin Worthen Found Alone, Crying Under the Mistletoe
Student saddened by own Christmas wish list
There is nothing sadder than a college student going home for Christmas without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Parents, relatives, and family friends will ask about dating, and there is no reply that will satisfy them. Normally, Christmas morning and presents will make up for these nuisances, but not even that can uplift Jahn McRobertson. This year, Jahn’s Christmas list only depresses him. His wants include … Continue reading Student saddened by own Christmas wish list
Twelve Days of Mutual (Lyrics)
Enjoy this fun Christmas carol this season, sponsored by Provo’s favorite dating app, Mutual! On the twelfth date of Christmas, Mutual gave to me: Twelve temple square dates, Eleven awkward side hugs, Ten “gospel study” sessions, Nine returned missionaries, Eight eight cow wives, Seven summer sales bros, Six accidental dates with your not so distant cousins, Five rings before spring, Four duck pond dates, … Continue reading Twelve Days of Mutual (Lyrics)
Gifts For the People On Your List That You Just Really Don’t Like
The season of giving is upon us. Thing is, what if you don’t feel like giving something? Well, not in terms of money, but more like ohmygoshmyroommateistheworstshedoesnotdeserveanyofmyattention. The second greatest commandment is to love thy neighbor as yourself. This means including them in holiday festivities when you don’t feel like it. What do you give them though? Here is a list of ideas to help … Continue reading Gifts For the People On Your List That You Just Really Don’t Like
