BYU Football Credits Victory to Creamery Chocolate Milk
After winning against their long-time rival, the University of Utah, BYU Football accredits their victory to BYU’s own chocolate milk from the creamery. When asked how they achieved this victory, head coach Kalani Sitake revealed their secret: “BYU Creamery’s chocolate milk is what really pushed us to victory. I have my players drink it every day after practice, and the protein and energy from it … Continue reading BYU Football Credits Victory to Creamery Chocolate Milk
Crumbl Releases Exclusive New “Utah” Flavors
The Utah-based cookie company that has been spreading across the country for the last four years is returning to its roots in the second driest U.S. State. The new cookie concoctions include green jello, diet coke, and funeral potatoes. Founders Jason McGowan and Sawyer Hemsley explained their inspiration saying that they, “truly believe that Utah cuisine is the best that there is.” They are happy … Continue reading Crumbl Releases Exclusive New “Utah” Flavors
BYU Student Who Doesn’t Follow Sports Confused Why BYU is Joining the Quorum of the Big 12
With the upcoming BYU vs Utah rivalry game on the horizon, BYU student Gregory Higgins has already had more sports talk enter his life than he would care to hear. Gregory has long been proud of his commitment to avoid the topic of athletics entirely, claiming that he does not want to take part in “hedonistic fanfare.” Not being able to differentiate a first down … Continue reading BYU Student Who Doesn’t Follow Sports Confused Why BYU is Joining the Quorum of the Big 12
Duo Mobile Locks President Worthen Out of BYU Account
Oh how the turntables… In a recent post on his Tumblr page, President Worthen admits that he has been locked out of his personal BYU account since the start of the semester. The culprit of the heinous crime? Everyone’s favorite security system…Duo Mobile. Duo Mobile, the evil overlord over BYU’s online services, is a two-factor authentication system to protect student’s accounts. It is infamous for … Continue reading Duo Mobile Locks President Worthen Out of BYU Account
Glenwood burns after no one brings refreshments to FHE
The Provo YSA 84th Ward held a back-to-school ward FHE activity last night. Chaos ensued shortly after the activity had begun. Members of the ward were immediately outraged at the lack of refreshments. Donuts and brownies had been promised, but were nowhere to be found. The ward members blamed all six activities committee co-chairs. As a sign of retaliation, they decided to burn the co-chairs’ … Continue reading Glenwood burns after no one brings refreshments to FHE
