Elder Cook Posts Picture of Homemade Murder Hornet Costume
Earlier today Elder Quentin L. Cook posted a picture of himself for Halloween in a homemade murder hornet costume. They have reportedly been planning this for months and spent many hours every week acquiring the right materials and sewing them together. “When I first read about them I just knew I had found my costume for this year,” said Elder Cook. The Cooks consistently make … Continue reading Elder Cook Posts Picture of Homemade Murder Hornet Costume
“Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys
After buying the Utah Jazz for $1.6 billion earlier this week, Qualtrics co-founder Ryan Smith finally showed up to his first practice as owner. The billionaire tech CEO reportedly stepped on the court with an entirely new set of drills in hand. “You want this team to have any chance of a successful IPO, you sit down and listen to me!” shouted a frazzle-haired Smith … Continue reading “Give Me 20 More!” Yells Ryan Smith as Jazz Players Furiously Fill Out Surveys
After Speaking on Race in Devotional, Follicly-Challenged Elder Oaks Adds “Bald Lives Matter”
In BYU’s Tuesday Devotional, Elder Oaks covered many topics, including race relations. While speaking about racial tensions in the U.S. Elder Oaks made the bold statement “black lives matter,” and in an equally bold move, used the dictionary to define racism. Later on in his devotional, many thought that he was repeating the earlier phrase when Oaks said, “bald lives matter.” More questions were raised … Continue reading After Speaking on Race in Devotional, Follicly-Challenged Elder Oaks Adds “Bald Lives Matter”
Karl G. Maeser Weighs in on Academic Honesty: “Place an exam on Proctorio–video monitored, verified ID and location–there is a possibility that I will cheat in some way or another, but put an exam on Learning Suite, and have me give my honor to not use my notes. Can I cheat on this exam? No, never! I’d die first!”
Prominent, and deceased, LDS educator Karl G. Maeser gave his thoughts on academic honesty during this semester’s midterm season. He also went into detail about how exactly he would get away with cheating on a Proctorio exam. It came as little surprise to BYU students and faculty when Maeser spoke about honor and the importance of keeping your word. He commented on the total lack … Continue reading Karl G. Maeser Weighs in on Academic Honesty: “Place an exam on Proctorio–video monitored, verified ID and location–there is a possibility that I will cheat in some way or another, but put an exam on Learning Suite, and have me give my honor to not use my notes. Can I cheat on this exam? No, never! I’d die first!”
Lehi freeway contractor compares construction to improving a ‘straight and narrow path’
After recent footage of the never-ending Lehi freeway construction was published, head contractor Larry Green spoke out about the decisions being made in the freeway construction. “With all the confusion in the world,” said Green, “we’re just trying to keep people on the ‘straight and narrow,’ you know?” Green cited the scriptures as his inspiration for his vision of the Lehi freeway, particularly the “Tree … Continue reading Lehi freeway contractor compares construction to improving a ‘straight and narrow path’
