Cosmo Cougar Swings into HFAC on Wrecking Ball
To the average student who knows very little about construction, the HFAC demolishing is weird, done in sections instead of all at once. A particular individual got fed up with the lack of action and was spotted this morning, swinging on a wrecking ball. “Gwwrrroowwwwllll,” sang Cosmo, expressing his distain in BYU’s lack of speed. “Gwwrroowwwwwlll… rawr, rawr!” Nobody knows how Cosmo deviously licked the … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Swings into HFAC on Wrecking Ball
LDS Church Releases New AI Tool ‘ChatCTR’
Imagine a world where devotionals are unoriginal, lacking in the Spirit. Where prayers are no longer inspired, they are generated. Where Sunday School lessons and sacrament meeting talks no longer have to be written by a human. We are now living in this world, thanks to the newest AI development: ChatCTR. While sacrament meeting talks used to be an agonizing slog of preparation, with ChatCTR, … Continue reading LDS Church Releases New AI Tool ‘ChatCTR’
Kevin Worthen accidentally bulldozes WILK instead of HFAC
Kevin Worthen, president of BYU, wanted to help in the demolition of the HFAC and rented his own bulldozer. However, because Kevin rarely leaves the ASB, he did not know which building the HFAC is. He drove his bulldozer straight into the side if the WILK. After taking out a few rooms, Kevin posed for some photo ops outside to show off his work. K-dubs … Continue reading Kevin Worthen accidentally bulldozes WILK instead of HFAC
“Cocaine Cougar” Sells Out Varsity Theater Second Night in a Row
The G-Rated, LDS version of the highly anticipated “Cocaine Bear” introduces a cautionary tale about choosing the right. All in moderation. Amongst few, unemployed LDS historians, a hot debate takes place on the origins of The First Vision. Those like David Deserat believe the dark power that overwhelmed Joseph Smith seconds before the first vision was none other than a wild cougar, dressed in the … Continue reading “Cocaine Cougar” Sells Out Varsity Theater Second Night in a Row
Controversial: BYU Professor Obeys Christ’s “Yea, yea; Nay, nay” Command
When reading Matthew 5:37 this week, “But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil,” BYU Professor Ryan Farrell realized he could use his Computer Science training to fulfill the Savior’s command. So he has begun lecturing his CS 393 class entirely in a series of “yeas and nays” in computer binary, where “yea” = 1 … Continue reading Controversial: BYU Professor Obeys Christ’s “Yea, yea; Nay, nay” Command