“Prove All Things; Hold Fast to That Which Is Good” Counsels President Oaks at BYU Devotional
In the second devotional of the new semester, the first counselor to the living prophet President Dallin H. Oaks addressed the audience of BYU students sporting a new look to support this historic announcement. In what will come to be known as Official Declaration 7, President Oaks affirmed that the Lord had made known His will for the blessing of all the bare faces across … Continue reading “Prove All Things; Hold Fast to That Which Is Good” Counsels President Oaks at BYU Devotional
Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence
President Kevithen J. Worthen has been on the top of the FBI most wanted list for some time now. Reports tell the Alternate Universe that President Worthen is so desired by the FBI for his “swag” and “pizzazz”. Recently, the FBI has been looking into President Worthen after receiving a tip that his presidency might have been attained wrongly. “There has never been a man … Continue reading Lost 116 Pages Found at President Worthen’s Mar-a-Utah-Lake Residence
After Death of Queen Elizabeth, UK to Abandon Monarchy for Reign of Judges
On Thursday morning, Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom, died at the age of 96. She had occupied the throne for more than 70 years at the time of her death, longer than any other British monarch. The heir apparent, Charles, was expected to ascend to the throne within the coming days. However, when Parliament gathered, Prime Minister Liz Truss presented a new plan. … Continue reading After Death of Queen Elizabeth, UK to Abandon Monarchy for Reign of Judges
Provo YSA Relief Societies Announce New Members Must “Rush to Zion”
YSA Relief Societies in Provo will no longer be assigning wards based on members’ addresses and will instead use a screening process similar to sorority recruitment. This process will take place over the span of a week, nicknamed “Rush to Zion Week”. Freshmen will visit with Relief Societies during this time and the week will culminate in a grand reveal of Relief Society Matches on … Continue reading Provo YSA Relief Societies Announce New Members Must “Rush to Zion”
Woman Moving Out of the Village Looks Back, Turns to Pillar of Salt
On Thursday, a woman fell victim to the unholy temple that is the Village. Identified only as “Logan’s wife”, she was moving to King Henry after years of living at the Village. Right before turning the corner onto 700 E, she looked back at the complex. In fact, she looked back with longing. With a bright flash of light and an heavenly crash, she was … Continue reading Woman Moving Out of the Village Looks Back, Turns to Pillar of Salt