Pope Agrees to Read the Book of Mormon if BYU Beats Notre Dame
In this classic ‘gentlemen’s bet’, the Pope has agreed to read the Book of Mormon if BYU beats Notre Dame. President Nelson has subsequently agreed to move to Vatican City so they can play Scrabble more often. “I always kick his butt in scrabble so I’m confident that my Cougars will do the same,” President Nelson told the Alternate Universe. Initially, the two spiritual powerhouses … Continue reading Pope Agrees to Read the Book of Mormon if BYU Beats Notre Dame
Testing Center Introduces $15 Fastpass
As midterms enter full swing this fall semester, students have been reminded of the awful, dread-filled misery of waiting in line to take an exam. Surprisingly, BYU has actually done something to fix this problem. Starting on October 10, a $15 FastPass will enable students to cut to the front of the line for 24 hours. The university’s reaction has been mixed. Supporters of the … Continue reading Testing Center Introduces $15 Fastpass
Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes
“Come on bro, I was just doing what my roommate told me to do.” This was the phrase used by BYU Bro Ted Fulmer in his defense against his livid roommates this past weekend. According to Ted, he was only following instructions. Following the herd one would say. But for his roommates, Ted absolutely crossed the line. What did Ted do to cause such a … Continue reading Tensions Rise at BYU Apartment as Misinformed Roommate Incorrectly “Soaked” the Dishes
What You Missed: General Conference October 2022
Were you not a good enough saint to watch all ten hours of this past General Conference? No worries; we’ve compiled the most important moments into a handy article right here. Bishop Causse urged members to be “stewards” of the Earth and save the environment Bishop Causse encouraged his fellow members to be conscious of the environment in his talk ‘Our Earthly Stewardship’. “Make an … Continue reading What You Missed: General Conference October 2022
Mormon Church Reverts from Rebranding
This morning’s session of General Conference, President Nelson made a surprising announcement. “We will no longer refer to ourselves as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. That is too long, and nobody’s got time for that. We will simply refer to ourselves as Mormons.” “To be honest, I am quite confused,” tweeted Bucky Bell. “Back in my day, the word M0rm0n … Continue reading Mormon Church Reverts from Rebranding
