50 WAYS TO SHUT OUT LIGHT Gaslight a child. Manipulate a loved one. Overstimulate a friend. Spit on an old person. Stigmatize mental health. Start a scandalous rumor about a loved one. Fill a stranger’s gas tank with milk. Make fun of someone’s birth mark. Empty a friend’s inhaler. Bankrupt a local business. Ask a woman her weight. Traffic an endangered species. Talk over your … Continue reading 50 Ways to Spite the World This Christmas Season
Everyone knows that fifth Sunday law of chastity lessons usually go poorly. But today, we were lucky enough to sit in on the world’s most successful one yet, led by instructor Cassidy Lessen. Lessen had the entire ward participating and asking meaningful, thought-provoking questions. For example, Sabbath Day committee member Bear Soles asked, “Does the handbook say anything about feet?” However, Lessen declined to comment … Continue reading Wholesome: YSA Ward Chastity Lesson Gone Right
Since you’ve all been slacking with your ministering sisters, it’s time to step it up. Here are some pointers that the church handbook recommends to “minister to the one” and enter the celestial kingdom as a big bad boy boss. Deliver Baked Goods. Attempt to make your own cookies, give up, and buy cookies from Walmart to put on a plate. Those Lofthouse sugar cookies … Continue reading A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother
With a recent rise in diabetes cases on BYU campus, scientists found that this new diagnosis has nothing to do with your family history, and everything to do with how many bottles of cookies and cream milk you had last week. Dr. Nick shared an insightful description of the disease. “So basically, the milk coats each of your internal organs with sugar. Then all your … Continue reading Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes
Today, People Magazine released the news. To no one’s surprise (but everyone’s delight) the TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive, 2025. Mustache Man has been stealing hearts from stage-right-and-front of the TABCATS tenor section for years, conference after conference, but his reach has spread across all of America. His runner-up, Glenn Powell, contacted the Alternate Universe, saying: “I wanted to make sure the … Continue reading TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025
