As we kick off 2026, your FHE crush is still completely unaware that you were an Assistant to the President on your mission, but never fear! Try these 6 tips to win her heart without losing the aloof persona you’ve spent all semester crafting. Consistently bring up how much time you spent in the office: This can be done as you do your marketing homework … Continue reading Self Help: How To Discreetly Tell Her That You Were AP
After five long years of fans wondering why their beloved team was canceled, the BYU administration finally revealed their reasoning for discontinuing the school’s long running hockey team. Administration released a rambling statement, citing concerns over thirst trap edits being made of the players as one of their prime reasons. “We couldn’t let the fujoshis come and ogle our hockey players like that.” … Continue reading Revealed: BYU Hockey Team Was Axed Due to Prophetic Vision of “Heated Rivalry”
After a free consulting evaluation, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has created a bold new plan to help increase profits and boost morale. 1. Gospel Library ProPlusPremium Members will find a variety of subscription options on the Gospel Library App. 2. General Conference Sponsors/ Product Placement Revenue will be collected and used to provide church buildings with less scratchy walls. 3. MSF … Continue reading LDS HQ Announces Proposal to Increase the Church’s Bottom Line
While racism on BYU campus itself has never been an issue, the Creamery has taken it upon itself to eradicate the very concept entirely, finally fulfilling the 63-year-old dream of Martin Luther King Jr. “The seamless blend of colors on a gradient from black to white is a lactic representation of the flawless integration we have here on our campus. This ice cream is our … Continue reading Creamery Announces New MiLK Chocolate & Vanilla Dream Flavor, Ends Racism
Ever get homesick for BYU during long weekends and breaks? Now you don’t have to go a day without your favorite familiar smells. The BYU Bookstore recently released a new line of candles that’s already flying off the shelves. Here are a few of the scents available: Hallway Microwave Notes: Yesterday’s Spaghetti, Indian Food, Dread Wilk Jamba Juice Notes: Frozen fruit, Bright colors, … Continue reading BYU Bookstore Releases New Candle Line Inspired by Scents from Around Campus
