Category: Featured

Featured, Life, Provo

A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Since you’ve all been slacking with your ministering sisters, it’s time to step it up. Here are some pointers that the church handbook recommends to “minister to the one” and enter the celestial kingdom as a big bad boy boss. Deliver Baked Goods. Attempt to make your own cookies, give up, and buy cookies from Walmart to put on a plate. Those Lofthouse sugar cookies … Continue reading A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured, Life, News

Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

With a recent rise in diabetes cases on BYU campus, scientists found that this new diagnosis has nothing to do with your family history, and everything to do with how many bottles of cookies and cream milk you had last week. Dr. Nick shared an insightful description of the disease.  “So basically, the milk coats each of your internal organs with sugar. Then all your … Continue reading Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

Kim Possible
Featured, General Conference, News

TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Today, People Magazine released the news. To no one’s surprise (but everyone’s delight) the TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive, 2025. Mustache Man has been stealing hearts from stage-right-and-front of the TABCATS tenor section for years, conference after conference, but his reach has spread across all of America. His runner-up, Glenn Powell, contacted the Alternate Universe, saying: “I wanted to make sure the … Continue reading TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Twitchy the Squirrel
Featured, Life

Last-Minute Modest Halloween Costumes

Our recommendations for achieving the perfect mix between spooky and not-too-sexy for singles and couples this Halloween. These costumes are sure to make you the life of the party!   Construction worker and the Salt Lake City Temple — This is one foolproof way to show that you’re in a long-term committed relationship   2. Julia Reagan — Have a red dress, pearls, and a … Continue reading Last-Minute Modest Halloween Costumes

Swedish Chef
Campus, Featured

Things That Are Definitely Happening At The Rave-yard Tonight

For Halloween this year, the BYU Student Connection and Leadership Center are putting on a spooky bash in the JFSB quad. Here’s what you can surely expect.   The event will begin with prayer. The offerer will ask forgiveness for celebrating the Devil’s holiday.   The punch will be spiked with creamery milk.  Everyone will also gain 20 pounds overnight because the water will immediately … Continue reading Things That Are Definitely Happening At The Rave-yard Tonight

Marceline Abadeer