Category: Featured

Featured, News, Sports

Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Pop into the family group chat to congratulate your dad on his new position, because just yesterday it was announced that your dad will be replacing former defensive coordinator, Jay Hill. Hill recently betrayed BYU when he transferred to the Michigan staff, but the BYU football team is optimistic that this change is for the better.  “We know that y/n’s dad is going to make … Continue reading Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Swedish Chef
Campus, Featured, News

Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

After his third glass of apple juice one evening, President Reese had an ingenious realization: why would the ASB be shaped like an X if there was no buried treasure under it waiting to be unearthed? Well, several months and a demolition later, that question is left unanswered. “I had just let him stay up to watch Pirates of the Caribbean so I should have … Continue reading Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

Don Cheadle
Featured

President Oaks’ Ins and Outs of 2026

In a recent interview with the prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Oaks, he talked about his Ins and Outs of 2026 and his hopes for the new year. “I hope that the faithful members of our church will ponder this list, and seek revelation on how they can apply these things to their own lives,” he remarked.   His … Continue reading President Oaks’ Ins and Outs of 2026

Swedish Chef
Featured, Life, Provo

Shocking! Boy Who’s Actively Pursuing You Says He’s “Not Ready for a Relationship.”

Rumors say that he’s already on Mutual again, looking for his next victim. As the days get shorter and colder, cuffing season seems to be in full swing. But not everyone is succeeding in getting into a relationship. Take, Lacey Lowder, a BYU Junior, who recently fell victim to the hope that a boy would actually commit to her.   After several weeks of actively … Continue reading Shocking! Boy Who’s Actively Pursuing You Says He’s “Not Ready for a Relationship.”

Swedish Chef
Featured

50 Ways to Spite the World This Christmas Season

50 WAYS TO SHUT OUT LIGHT Gaslight a child. Manipulate a loved one. Overstimulate a friend. Spit on an old person. Stigmatize mental health. Start a scandalous rumor about a loved one. Fill a stranger’s gas tank with milk. Make fun of someone’s birth mark. Empty a friend’s inhaler. Bankrupt a local business. Ask a woman her weight. Traffic an endangered species. Talk over your … Continue reading 50 Ways to Spite the World This Christmas Season

Don Cheadle1 Comment