Category: News

Campus, Featured, News

Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

After his third glass of apple juice one evening, President Reese had an ingenious realization: why would the ASB be shaped like an X if there was no buried treasure under it waiting to be unearthed? Well, several months and a demolition later, that question is left unanswered. “I had just let him stay up to watch Pirates of the Caribbean so I should have … Continue reading Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured, Life, News

Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

With a recent rise in diabetes cases on BYU campus, scientists found that this new diagnosis has nothing to do with your family history, and everything to do with how many bottles of cookies and cream milk you had last week. Dr. Nick shared an insightful description of the disease.  “So basically, the milk coats each of your internal organs with sugar. Then all your … Continue reading Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

Kim Possible
Featured, General Conference, News

TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Today, People Magazine released the news. To no one’s surprise (but everyone’s delight) the TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive, 2025. Mustache Man has been stealing hearts from stage-right-and-front of the TABCATS tenor section for years, conference after conference, but his reach has spread across all of America. His runner-up, Glenn Powell, contacted the Alternate Universe, saying: “I wanted to make sure the … Continue reading TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Twitchy the Squirrel
Featured, News

Robert Irwin Taking Missionary Lessons after Referral from Mormon Wives on DWTS

Robert Irwin has recently started meeting with the missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints after interacting with many members of the church during his run on Dancing with the Stars. Stars Whitney Leavitt and Jen Affleck, from the show Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, began sharing the gospel with Irwin since the show began.   “We could just see that he … Continue reading Robert Irwin Taking Missionary Lessons after Referral from Mormon Wives on DWTS

Swedish Chef
Featured, News, Provo

Participants in Provo “Performative Male” Contest Flagged by Honor Code Office for Promiscuity

Several contestants in Brigham Young University’s first annual “Performative Male” competition have been referred to the Honor Code Office after fellow students felt uncomfortable with their being “so horny.” The event, hosted in Kiwanis Park, was organized by the BYU Men’s Studies Club. Performative males are known for performing for the female gaze, engaging in such activities as drinking traditionally female drinks like matcha, and … Continue reading Participants in Provo “Performative Male” Contest Flagged by Honor Code Office for Promiscuity

Kayteigh Leigh