Disappointed Local Man’s “Intramural Champion” T-Shirt Not Enough to Woo Women
After scoring zero points and acquiring six fouls in his team’s intramural championship game, Karl Stockton was ready to take on the world. Stockton, who teamed up with his mission companion’s old high school basketball team, fulfilled his biggest dream since he came to BYU: become an intramural champion. “This is why I’ve been putting in all that work,” Stockton said. “Taking beginning basketball every … Continue reading Disappointed Local Man’s “Intramural Champion” T-Shirt Not Enough to Woo Women
Quiz: Which restaurant in the Cougareat are you?
Student finally realizes we live in a simulation after “sus” NPC activity on campus
Keanu Jermichaelson, a senior at BYU majoring in Ancient Scripture, finally came to terms with his futile existence. As we are all well aware, we live in a simulation created by our technological overlords Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. But surprisingly, there are only a select few remaining who have not accepted this. Jermichaelson was one of them. “I just started to notice that things … Continue reading Student finally realizes we live in a simulation after “sus” NPC activity on campus
The Daily Universe Awards The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication”
In a delightful but unsurprising turn of events, BYU’s own The Daily Universe has decided to crown The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication” of 2021. We, at The Alternate Universe, graciously accept this award and acknowledge the excellent taste of the journalists at The Daily Universe. During the award ceremony Jacleighn Hutchinson, a journalist at The Daily Universe, explained some of the rationale behind this … Continue reading The Daily Universe Awards The Alternate Universe “Best Provo Publication”
Man Wearing “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” Shirt Least Kissable Alive
The results of a randomized, controlled, double-blind study conducted by the BYU sociology department recently discovered that out of every type of man that exists, a man who waits all year to wear his cheeky “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” tee is in fact the least worthy of your lips alive. We all know him. He has a dell laptop and sings showtunes on his way … Continue reading Man Wearing “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” Shirt Least Kissable Alive
