New missionary to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon in first 100 days in the field
Elder Matt Matthews of Orem, Utah has recently been assigned to serve in the Washington DC North Mission. Matthews held a press conference to announce his plan for his first 100 days in the mission field. His loftiest goal is to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon. Matthews believes that every citizen within his stewardship should have free access to the … Continue reading New missionary to hand out 100 million copies of the Book of Mormon in first 100 days in the field
Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild
In a flurry of activity Tuesday afternoon, President Trump issued several pardons as his term came to an end. Among those pardoned was the University of Utah mascot, Swoop. A spokesperson for the President stated “The President sees Swoop as a national hero and thinks it a travesty that Swoop has been dealt such a great injustice by the corrupt deep state.” Swoop has been … Continue reading Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild
Couple Finally Meets without Masks, Both are Disappointed
“He was so kind before this,” says Abby Smith. “I just wish his face reflected his personality.” Abby and Spencer met in their eternal families class last Monday morning. They hit it off quickly. “She introduced herself and told me where she was from, what her major is, and what year in school she is, asking me as well,” says Spencer Andersen. “It was so … Continue reading Couple Finally Meets without Masks, Both are Disappointed
Tech Firm Jared and Bros Unveils New Sustainable Light Source “Powered by the Hand of the Lord”
Jared and Bros are a relatively new name in the industry, but CEO Mahonri Moriancumer is already shaking things up. “I just think when talking about innovation that it’s really important to think outside the box—or in my case, think outside the barge that is tight like unto a dish.” When asked about his processes, Moriancumer described how he starts with finding a need that … Continue reading Tech Firm Jared and Bros Unveils New Sustainable Light Source “Powered by the Hand of the Lord”
BYU Quarterback Zach Wilson’s Draft Stock Skyrockets After Revealing Newly Grown Mustache
Confidence. Field Vision. Athleticism. Awareness. Arm Strength. These are all characteristics that have made BYU’s Zach Wilson an intriguing potential starting quarterback in this year’s upcoming NFL draft. Another quality that can now be added to the list? Facial Hair The Alternate Universe has received reports that Wilson has been seen sporting a “surprisingly impressive” mustache since the end of their season. “It scared me … Continue reading BYU Quarterback Zach Wilson’s Draft Stock Skyrockets After Revealing Newly Grown Mustache
