Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild
In a flurry of activity Tuesday afternoon, President Trump issued several pardons as his term came to an end. Among those pardoned was the University of Utah mascot, Swoop. A spokesperson for the President stated “The President sees Swoop as a national hero and thinks it a travesty that Swoop has been dealt such a great injustice by the corrupt deep state.” Swoop has been … Continue reading Trump Pardons U of U Mascot On Last Day in Office, Swoop Officially Released Into the Wild
Couple Finally Meets without Masks, Both are Disappointed
“He was so kind before this,” says Abby Smith. “I just wish his face reflected his personality.” Abby and Spencer met in their eternal families class last Monday morning. They hit it off quickly. “She introduced herself and told me where she was from, what her major is, and what year in school she is, asking me as well,” says Spencer Andersen. “It was so … Continue reading Couple Finally Meets without Masks, Both are Disappointed
Tech Firm Jared and Bros Unveils New Sustainable Light Source “Powered by the Hand of the Lord”
Jared and Bros are a relatively new name in the industry, but CEO Mahonri Moriancumer is already shaking things up. “I just think when talking about innovation that it’s really important to think outside the box—or in my case, think outside the barge that is tight like unto a dish.” When asked about his processes, Moriancumer described how he starts with finding a need that … Continue reading Tech Firm Jared and Bros Unveils New Sustainable Light Source “Powered by the Hand of the Lord”
BYU Quarterback Zach Wilson’s Draft Stock Skyrockets After Revealing Newly Grown Mustache
Confidence. Field Vision. Athleticism. Awareness. Arm Strength. These are all characteristics that have made BYU’s Zach Wilson an intriguing potential starting quarterback in this year’s upcoming NFL draft. Another quality that can now be added to the list? Facial Hair The Alternate Universe has received reports that Wilson has been seen sporting a “surprisingly impressive” mustache since the end of their season. “It scared me … Continue reading BYU Quarterback Zach Wilson’s Draft Stock Skyrockets After Revealing Newly Grown Mustache
Wilkinson Center Piano Player Excited to WOW Large Audience of In-Line COVID-19 Testers
As the winter semester begins, so does mandatory COVID-19 testing for all BYU students. While most are dragging their feet to get tested, not all view the requirement as irritating. This is a moment in time packed with opportunity for Justin Wilks, self-taught musician based in the Wilkinson Center who specializes in piano performance. Wilks explained that since COVID has decreased traffic in the student … Continue reading Wilkinson Center Piano Player Excited to WOW Large Audience of In-Line COVID-19 Testers
