Leak Reveals The Village to Receive Priority Access to Vaccine
Leaked documents from the Utah Coronavirus Task Force reveal that The Village will be one of several apartment complexes to receive early access to the COVID-19 vaccine when it’s made available. Years ago, these apartment complexes made various agreements with the state for their residents to receive premium benefits in the case of emergency. These benefits range from backup generators to discounts at country clubs. … Continue reading Leak Reveals The Village to Receive Priority Access to Vaccine
Local Political Genius Decides He Doesn’t Like Either Side
Local political genius Darren Sims came forward on Friday morning with a ground breaking announcement, declaring that he “doesn’t like either side” in the upcoming election. This move is unexpected from Sims who had previously been heard to say that he “thinks that both sides should calm down”. Much has been said about the upcoming election and for many people it has taken the shape … Continue reading Local Political Genius Decides He Doesn’t Like Either Side
Debate Moderator Calls on Audience Member to Offer the Opening Prayer
Debate moderator Kristen Welker paused for a moment at the start of the nation’s final presidential debate tonight to ask a member of the audience to offer the opening prayer. In an awkward turn of events the ivy-league-educated, White House correspondent had forgotten to assign anyone beforehand. “Uh, oh. Ahem. Let’s see here…” Welker mumbled into her mike when she realized her mistake, “Before we … Continue reading Debate Moderator Calls on Audience Member to Offer the Opening Prayer
Honor Code Office and large crowd of students release ad calling for civil disagreement
Inspired by the Utah governor candidates who have recently released ads “calling for civility,” the BYU Honor Code Office and BYU students came together to release ads of their own, although they had a different message in mind. Jim Year, a frequent honor code offender, made a statement explaining the purpose of their ads. “I know that I will never get along with the Honor … Continue reading Honor Code Office and large crowd of students release ad calling for civil disagreement
Gov. Herbert Declares Early Halloween in Effort to Encourage Mask Wearing
Utah Governor Gary Herbert has declared that Utah will be in a state of permanent Halloween between now (19th) and when conventional Halloween begins on the 31st. This comes in the wake of a series of changes made to the state’s Coronavirus response program. “We know that essential oils moms love Halloween and have no problem with everyone wearing uncomfortable costumes and masks for that, … Continue reading Gov. Herbert Declares Early Halloween in Effort to Encourage Mask Wearing