Tag: BYU

Featured, Life, Provo

A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Since you’ve all been slacking with your ministering sisters, it’s time to step it up. Here are some pointers that the church handbook recommends to “minister to the one” and enter the celestial kingdom as a big bad boy boss. Deliver Baked Goods. Attempt to make your own cookies, give up, and buy cookies from Walmart to put on a plate. Those Lofthouse sugar cookies … Continue reading A Beginner’s Guide to Becoming an Alpha Ministering Brother

Kim Possible
Campus, Featured, Life, News

Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

With a recent rise in diabetes cases on BYU campus, scientists found that this new diagnosis has nothing to do with your family history, and everything to do with how many bottles of cookies and cream milk you had last week. Dr. Nick shared an insightful description of the disease.  “So basically, the milk coats each of your internal organs with sugar. Then all your … Continue reading Studies Show BYU Cookies N Cream Milk Causes Type III Diabetes

Kim Possible
Featured, News, Provo

Participants in Provo “Performative Male” Contest Flagged by Honor Code Office for Promiscuity

Several contestants in Brigham Young University’s first annual “Performative Male” competition have been referred to the Honor Code Office after fellow students felt uncomfortable with their being “so horny.” The event, hosted in Kiwanis Park, was organized by the BYU Men’s Studies Club. Performative males are known for performing for the female gaze, engaging in such activities as drinking traditionally female drinks like matcha, and … Continue reading Participants in Provo “Performative Male” Contest Flagged by Honor Code Office for Promiscuity

Kayteigh Leigh
Featured, News, Sports

BREAKING: Third Bachmeier Brother Revealed to be UVU Student

Bear and Tiger Bachmeier have made waves on the BYU football team this year, with Bear being the first true freshman quarterback in the team’s history. However, in a recent revelation that has rocked fans across the state, sources can now confirm that Bear and Tiger Bachmeier, BYU’s apex predators of the gridiron, have another brother: Cougar Bachmeier, a UVU senior studying accounting. According to … Continue reading BREAKING: Third Bachmeier Brother Revealed to be UVU Student

Kit Kittredge
Featured, News, Provo

Updates to the BYU Honor Code Prevent Students from Using Hats to Cover Up Male-pattern Baldness

University leaders re-emphasize the importance of honesty in all things with the new dress and grooming standard.   Many students were shocked when the Brigham Young University Honor Code Office issued a statement that they would no longer allow hats on BYU campus. While hats have allowed men with male-pattern baldness to hide their receding hairlines since the university’s founding, the Honor Code Office has … Continue reading Updates to the BYU Honor Code Prevent Students from Using Hats to Cover Up Male-pattern Baldness

Swedish Chef