BYU Administrators Worry as High Gas Prices Lead to Surplus of Parking Spots

The war in Iran has been controversial, having adverse effects on many, and highly disapproved of by most politicians. However, it has had one surprising silver lining: due to high gas prices, there is an excess of parking spots at Brigham Young University. Economists expect that parking spots will remain plentiful into the fall semester, prompting administrators to remove parking spots throughout campus. “We plan … Continue reading BYU Administrators Worry as High Gas Prices Lead to Surplus of Parking Spots

Loser with No Friends Studies on Reading Day

Local chump Sandra McCullough was caught using BYU’s Reading Day for studying rather than normal activities like hanging out with friends or having a life. “In all my years of working here, I’ve never seen someone actually study on Reading Day,” reported longtime librarian Susan Goodrich. “It’s really quite sad to see her be the first.” Observers noted being “weirded out” by seeing someone take … Continue reading Loser with No Friends Studies on Reading Day

Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role

The criteria for assuming the role of BYU’s beloved mascot is no joke. Here’s what you would have to do, ranked from easiest to most difficult.   Disarm a Bomb Fight an Cougar and Win Talk to a Woman Treat a Ute Fan With Respect Make a Fursona Be Between 5’9” and 6’   It’s a challenging job to fill, but fill it BYU must. … Continue reading Cosmo Tryout Requirements LEAKED! See What You’d Have to Do to Get This Coveted Role

Incensed Patron Upends Table of Chatty Students in HBLL Reading Room

The BYU Library, otherwise known as the HBLL (Harold B. Lee Library), has precious few quiet zones, limited to the 5th floor during times of no construction, the 2nd floor Reading Room or Periodicals, and the 1st floor Social Sciences Section. Students requiring enforced quiet study for concentration are limited to these three areas. Unfortunately, since these three areas have some of the greatest square … Continue reading Incensed Patron Upends Table of Chatty Students in HBLL Reading Room

April Showers! BYU To Allow CS Majors To Shower Again For The Month Of April

Spring has sprung on BYU campus, and in preparation for the May flowers, BYU is implementing a new and unprecedented policy. At 11 am on Thursday morning, BYU administration made the announcement that computer science students will be officially allowed to shower for all of the month of April  “We’re always looking for opportunities for our students to experience new things,” says BYU president C. … Continue reading April Showers! BYU To Allow CS Majors To Shower Again For The Month Of April