Do you ever find yourself wondering which campus bathroom is best suited for your needs at any given moment? Trick question–everyone has. Until now. Here’s your complete and definitive guide going forward. Most Private (Men’s) McKay Building Most Private (Women’s) Talmage Building Most Pristine Music Building Most Bad MARB Most Likely to Succeed Arts Building Most Likely to Secede West Campus Best Couple Testing Center … Continue reading Campus Bathroom Superlatives
Callery pear trees are known for yielding inedible pears and smelling like gross fish, so naturally, they are all over campus. Here are but a few of the many things that you would be better off smelling instead. Campus Microwave at Lunchtime Helaman Halls Dorm Room Used Wilk Bowling Shoes Computer Science Student Expired Vending Machine Sandwich MARB Auditorium After a Physics Class Continue reading Things That Smell Better Than the Stinky Campus Pear Trees
Sources report that BYU has decided to maximize the new space on campus by building a new Creamery on the site of the old Creamery. While many different ideas were rumored, it is now confirmed that the lot of land that used to house the old Creamery on Ninth will now be built into a new Creamery on Ninth. According to sources, the idea was … Continue reading BREAKING: BYU to Build New Creamery Where Old Creamery Was
Sorry, Clavvy. You mess with the cat, you’ve gotta go toe-to-toe with the dawgs. “I can’t believe a misogymaxxed moidslop chudcel like him would even jestergoon around a cougarpilled canthal tilt like Cosmo’s. Enjoy that career-ending cortisol spike, bud,” said onlooker John Volcel. Clavicular was unable to comment as he was busy crying in the corner of the Milk & Cookies lounge. Barefoot Cosmo, stoic … Continue reading Looksmaxxer Clavicular Brutally Frame-Mogged by Barefoot Cosmo
Recently, BYU sent acceptance letters to 9,879 freshman applicants. A week later, nine of them were told that theirs were an accident, and that they would not be able to attend BYU. Here’s why BYU could not afford to let these nine students attend despite the error. Famine With nearly 40,000 students already enrolled at BYU Provo, food can be hard to come by. … Continue reading What Would Happen if BYU Upheld the 9 Accidental Acceptance Letters
