Tag: Campus

Campus, Featured, Life, News, Provo

In Stunning Display of Creativity, Every Band Featured in Battle of the Bands Sort of Sounds Like Imagine Dragons

Provo, Utah, noted for being birthplace to the famous bands Imagine Dragons and Neon Trees, leaves many up-and-coming bands dreaming of what may be following BYUSA’s Battle of the Bands. That legacy has greatly shaped the Provo music scene as we at the Alternate Universe look ahead to tonight’s Battle of the Bands. In a three-hour performance, concertgoers will be able to hear a wide … Continue reading In Stunning Display of Creativity, Every Band Featured in Battle of the Bands Sort of Sounds Like Imagine Dragons

Chuck Bartowski
Campus, Featured

Campus Bathroom Superlatives

Do you ever find yourself wondering which campus bathroom is best suited for your needs at any given moment? Trick question–everyone has. Until now. Here’s your complete and definitive guide going forward. Most Private (Men’s) McKay Building Most Private (Women’s) Talmage Building Most Pristine Music Building Most Bad MARB Most Likely to Succeed Arts Building Most Likely to Secede West Campus Best Couple Testing Center … Continue reading Campus Bathroom Superlatives

Don Cheadle
Campus, Featured

Things That Smell Better Than the Stinky Campus Pear Trees

Callery pear trees are known for yielding inedible pears and smelling like gross fish, so naturally, they are all over campus. Here are but a few of the many things that you would be better off smelling instead. Campus Microwave at Lunchtime Helaman Halls Dorm Room Used Wilk Bowling Shoes Computer Science Student Expired Vending Machine Sandwich MARB Auditorium After a Physics Class Continue reading Things That Smell Better Than the Stinky Campus Pear Trees

Don Cheadle
Campus, Life, News

BREAKING: BYU to Build New Creamery Where Old Creamery Was

Sources report that BYU has decided to maximize the new space on campus by building a new Creamery on the site of the old Creamery. While many different ideas were rumored, it is now confirmed that the lot of land that used to house the old Creamery on Ninth will now be built into a new Creamery on Ninth. According to sources, the idea was … Continue reading BREAKING: BYU to Build New Creamery Where Old Creamery Was

Chuck Bartowski
Campus, Featured, Life

Looksmaxxer Clavicular Brutally Frame-Mogged by Barefoot Cosmo

Sorry, Clavvy. You mess with the cat, you’ve gotta go toe-to-toe with the dawgs. “I can’t believe a misogymaxxed moidslop chudcel like him would even jestergoon around a cougarpilled canthal tilt like Cosmo’s. Enjoy that career-ending cortisol spike, bud,” said onlooker John Volcel. Clavicular was unable to comment as he was busy crying in the corner of the Milk & Cookies lounge. Barefoot Cosmo, stoic … Continue reading Looksmaxxer Clavicular Brutally Frame-Mogged by Barefoot Cosmo

Don Cheadle