Tag: Featured

Featured, General Conference, News

TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Today, People Magazine released the news. To no one’s surprise (but everyone’s delight) the TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive, 2025. Mustache Man has been stealing hearts from stage-right-and-front of the TABCATS tenor section for years, conference after conference, but his reach has spread across all of America. His runner-up, Glenn Powell, contacted the Alternate Universe, saying: “I wanted to make sure the … Continue reading TABCATS’ Mustache Man is People’s Sexiest Man Alive 2025

Twitchy the Squirrel
Uncategorized

LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

On Sunday, October 19th, at approximately 9:30 am, student thieves wielding American Heritage textbooks broke into the MOA with SWIG in hand before escaping on the UVX with valuable statues in their pockets.  Immediately following the crime, Brigham Young emerged from the grave to express his congratulations to the students who managed to escape with no trace. “No Canva, no Learning Suite, just some good … Continue reading LOVE Statue and Cute Little Dear Stolen in MOA Heist

Kim Possible
Featured, News, Sports

BREAKING: Third Bachmeier Brother Revealed to be UVU Student

Bear and Tiger Bachmeier have made waves on the BYU football team this year, with Bear being the first true freshman quarterback in the team’s history. However, in a recent revelation that has rocked fans across the state, sources can now confirm that Bear and Tiger Bachmeier, BYU’s apex predators of the gridiron, have another brother: Cougar Bachmeier, a UVU senior studying accounting. According to … Continue reading BREAKING: Third Bachmeier Brother Revealed to be UVU Student

Kit Kittredge
Campus, Featured, Life

How To Tell If Your Roommate Can Really Handle That Scary Movie

With the arrival of October, BYU students have begun the annual Reaping. Of movie partners, that is. “It’s a delicate process,” Miranda Mitchell, a dedicated horror nerd and Film Studies major, told me as she glanced furtively around the quad. “You have to send out signals without alerting the SOs of what you’re planning.” The SOs, or “Sheltered Ones,” are those BYU students who weren’t … Continue reading How To Tell If Your Roommate Can Really Handle That Scary Movie

Twitchy the Squirrel
Uncategorized

REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

According to recent polls among BYU students, people feel more inspired by this Ron Swanson knockoff than by the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. While conference has generated a significant amount of buzz related to our new prophet and first presidency, this guy continues to overpower all old-man-related gossip.  Whispers generated from the grapevine reveal that this guy is immortal and will … Continue reading REPORT: People Care More About MoTab Mustache Guy Than Our Actual Prophet

Kim Possible