BYU Bookstore Releases New Candle Line Inspired by Scents from Around Campus

Ever get homesick for BYU during long weekends and breaks? Now you don’t have to go a day without your favorite familiar smells. The BYU Bookstore recently released a new line of candles that’s already flying off the shelves. Here are a few of the scents available:   Hallway Microwave Notes: Yesterday’s Spaghetti, Indian Food, Dread   Wilk Jamba Juice  Notes: Frozen fruit, Bright colors, … Continue reading BYU Bookstore Releases New Candle Line Inspired by Scents from Around Campus

Mission Presidents’ Handbook Updated to Include Matchmaking Protocols

President Oaks recently touted the sister missionary age requirement change as “part of the Lord’s plan to overcome the tendency of waiting until the late 20s to have a first marriage.” In light of this guidance, the Missionary Department has added a section to the mission leaders’ handbook, titled “Matchmaking in Missionary Life”. Relevant excerpts have been included below. “Mission presidents may use discretion to … Continue reading Mission Presidents’ Handbook Updated to Include Matchmaking Protocols

Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Pop into the family group chat to congratulate your dad on his new position, because just yesterday it was announced that your dad will be replacing former defensive coordinator, Jay Hill. Hill recently betrayed BYU when he transferred to the Michigan staff, but the BYU football team is optimistic that this change is for the better.  “We know that y/n’s dad is going to make … Continue reading Your Dad Gets Promoted to be BYU’s New Defensive Coordinator

Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

After his third glass of apple juice one evening, President Reese had an ingenious realization: why would the ASB be shaped like an X if there was no buried treasure under it waiting to be unearthed? Well, several months and a demolition later, that question is left unanswered. “I had just let him stay up to watch Pirates of the Caribbean so I should have … Continue reading Disappointing: ASB Demolition Yields No Treasure Despite Suspiciously Treasure-Shaped Design

General Authorities Report Visions of Cosmo in Vecna’s Lair. 11 Other Mascots Missing.

This morning, general authorities reported visions of Cosmo abducted in a strange, vine-like lair. News reports have confirmed the abduction of 11 other mascots as well. With great interest, reporters coaxed a vague description our of our dear prophet. “What I saw…it was like Nephi’s vision of the great and spacious building…but silmier and with more squishy sounds,” he shared, visibly disturbed. While many people … Continue reading General Authorities Report Visions of Cosmo in Vecna’s Lair. 11 Other Mascots Missing.