Dear The Daily Universe, We haven’t always seen eye to eye. You’ve judged us for reporting the raw truth and we’ve judged you for fabricating your own. But we’re tired of fighting. We’re tired of running from our feelings. We’re not kids anymore, The Daily Universe. We’re student newspaper organizations now. And that means we have to take some responsibility. We’ve been around for nine … Continue reading An Open Love Letter to the Daily Universe
In light of recent drama within BYU athletics, it should come as no surprise that another scandal has been brewing in secret right here in Provo. Clay Baker, a finance student from springville Utah, is currently under investigation by the Honor Code Office after admitting to having a “mancrush” on BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa. “The purity of our students is our utmost priority” says … Continue reading BYU Student Under Investigation By Honor Code Office For “Mancrush” On AJ Dybantsa
In this society, a man only has one choice: marry an 18-year-old girl during his first semester back from the mission, or join the manosphere. The choice is brutal, but the world is a dark place. No one knows this better than Benson Eubranks. When asked how he decided to take himself off the market, Eubranks replied, “To stay in a power position, I’ve decided … Continue reading Man Claims He is Off the Market Purely by Choice
After what seemed a typical bedtime prayer, local Utahn John Henry, 65, accidentally cursed himself by praying for “moisture” instead of rain. “I’ve always prayed for moisture. It never even occurred to me that I could just pray for rain instead,” admitted Henry. “Apparently God got fed up with my requests.” Upon saying such a fateful prayer, Henry reported waking up in a cold sweat … Continue reading Local Utahn Plagued After Praying for “Moisture” Instead of Rain
Local racists have been worried about having to choose between the official Super Bowl halftime show with Bad Bunny, who isn’t white, and Turning Point USA’s alternate show featuring Kid Rock, who writes music that isn’t good. Luckily, BYUSA partnered with Vocal Point to present a third option. “We encourage all students to observe the Sabbath by avoiding unholy music and instead getting hyped for … Continue reading Vocal Point, BYUSA to Host Alternate Alternate Halftime Show for People Who Are Racist but Don’t Want to Watch Kid Rock
