2024 March Madness Bracket
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Category: Campus
Cosmo Cougar Gets Brazilian Butt Lift
BYU’s beloved mascot, Cosmo, has gotten a little cheekier. The acrobatic cat recently underwent a procedure to add some extra size to his hindquarters and has become, for lack of a better term, “dummy thicc.” While rumors about the change spread at first, Cosmo’s most recent public appearance put those myths to rest. When asked about the new changes, students have reacted differently. Freshman Jaykob … Continue reading Cosmo Cougar Gets Brazilian Butt Lift
BYU Police Partners With Missionary Department to Place Tiwi Systems on Campus Scooters
In BYU’s latest efforts to monitor on-campus travel, leaders have decided to combine forces with the Missionary Department to install Tiwi systems (A GPS-enabled device that will allow authorities to monitor students’ driving activity) on scooters found on campus. Says campus representative Jessica Robb, “I think campus scooter riders deserve both the embarrassment and the missionary PTSD for zooming around the Wilk like they’re in … Continue reading BYU Police Partners With Missionary Department to Place Tiwi Systems on Campus Scooters
Sales Recruiter Trained by Bene Gesserit Has a Profitable Afternoon
It’s that time of year. Summer sales recruiters are descending on the Cougareat like a plague of charismatic locusts. One Vivint rep has been staggeringly successful. In a single day, Brosh Duncan managed to convince two thousand freshmen to spend their summers hawking solar panels. “There’s something really believable about Brosh,” says Tyler Bowman, a recent recruit. “He’s such a cool guy!” However, there’s more … Continue reading Sales Recruiter Trained by Bene Gesserit Has a Profitable Afternoon
War!
Chaos! Mayhem! Utter pandemonium! What began as the most ambitious crossover event of all time has escalated into total war as Heritage and Helaman Halls march into battle over the forbidden romance of Lake Monson and Nova McCapuleight. Our journalists braved both sides of the battlefield to bring you the latest news regarding the disarray covering the northern portion of campus. “Mobilize Merrill and Stover … Continue reading War!
