News, Sports

BYU Prays Too Hard for Enemies, Loses to FSU in National Soccer Championship

In Matthew 5:44 of the King James Bible, Jesus says “but I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. In the Lord’s locker rooms on BYU campus, this isn’t counsel that many teams take lightly. It is common practice for BYU players to pray for their opponents right before a match. However, the commandment Jesus once gave in his Sermon … Continue reading BYU Prays Too Hard for Enemies, Loses to FSU in National Soccer Championship

Lisa Simpson
Campus, News

Leaked: Santa’s Christmas List

Last night, a reporter for the Alternate Universe was engaging in a late-night wander of campus, pondering finals and considering an existential crisis when they saw something cross the sky. Was it a bird, a plane? Had Cosmo learned to fly? No, none of the above. After a thorough investigation, the object was confirmed to be none other than Santa’s sleigh. As the sleigh passed … Continue reading Leaked: Santa’s Christmas List

Carmen Sandeigo
Life

New Provo Temple will Function Exclusively for Living Sealings

You may have heard the Church’s decision to close the doors on its fondly-regarded cupcake temple. Fret not, for there will be another temple in its place. The wedding cake temple.  The temple, shaped like a three-tiered wedding cake, will be only for live sealings. This temple’s mission is hoped to fill in the gaps left by other temples struggling to meet demand for sealings … Continue reading New Provo Temple will Function Exclusively for Living Sealings

Renesmee
General Conference

Here is President Nelson’s Spotify Wrapped 2021

Spotify’s Wrapped is one of the most anticipated social media crazes of the year. Millions of metalheads, rap-junkies, and Coldplay-Enthusiasts rejoice as they can share their “diverse” music taste all across social media. After Wrapped is released, Instagram is flooded with stories with everyone’s top 5 artists, top genres, and top 5 songs. Although most people couldn’t care less about everyone else’s Spotify Wrapped, the … Continue reading Here is President Nelson’s Spotify Wrapped 2021

Bobby Zimmeruski