Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal
Here at the Alternate Universe, we are committed to providing top-shelf comedic content, and we have a zero-tolerance policy for contrary behavior from anyone who represents our brand. Last night a member of our staff, who will remain unnamed out of respect to their family, performed in a Divine Comedy show. We were not aware that they had any ties to the organization, and we … Continue reading Alternate Universe Staff Member Fired After Comedy Scandal
How to Avoid a NCMO
A certain disease is plaguing our campus. What is it, you say? The NCMO. Our youth (who are somehow of adult age) are at a terrible risk of getting NCMOed. Here is the complete, comprehensive guide to avoiding the dreaded NCMO. #1 Talk solely about your mission, especially if your date didn’t serve one. #2 Wear Trump merch and play rap music. Or wear Bernie … Continue reading How to Avoid a NCMO
Cougareat to Partner with HCO to Fix Staffing Shortages
As many students have noticed, BYU’s Courgareat has limited hours and services this semester due to staffing shortages. The Cougareat has tried several solutions to the problem, including temporarily closing stores and limiting menus. These attempts have had varying levels of success, but they believe that they have finally hit on the best alternative. The Honor Code is a notorious part of attending BYU, and … Continue reading Cougareat to Partner with HCO to Fix Staffing Shortages
“Marinating”: The new sensation that’s sweeping the nation
This week, BYU administration became aware of a new trend sweeping the nation. Everyone is talking about “marinating” and how they do it all the time. The practice began at BYU and quickly spread to other universities. Sophomore Brigham Braxton and his friends started doing it at Lake Powell over Labor Day weekend, and figured they could do it at BYU, too. “I just thought … Continue reading “Marinating”: The new sensation that’s sweeping the nation
“Park to Damascus” – Student is Forever Changed By Not Having Her Car Towed
A long time skeptic of modern miracles, BYU sophomore Sophie Roberts was hesitant to believe any holy influence involving anything from car keys to inexplicable medical recoveries. She never directly accused others of fabricating their stories, but silently carried her belief that they were doing it for attention. Before the start of the Fall 2021 semester, Sophie moved into apartment 144 of her building and … Continue reading “Park to Damascus” – Student is Forever Changed By Not Having Her Car Towed
