Generous Off-Campus Housing Landlord to Let Students Cancel Contract for Low Price of Firstborn Child

  In light of concern about spiking coronavirus infections in Utah, and facing growing ire from hordes of disgruntled students, benevolent Provo landlord Rick Rolle has announced that his tenants will be permitted to break their leases prematurely for the modest fee of their firstborn child. Jenyssa and Leroy Small, married BYU sophomores who recently welcomed an infant son, Solomon, expressed disappointment at their landlord’s … Continue reading Generous Off-Campus Housing Landlord to Let Students Cancel Contract for Low Price of Firstborn Child

Confirmed: Elder Holland Released from Hospital After Vaping COVID-19 Sample to Gain Greater Empathy for Virus Victims

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints went through a rollercoaster of emotions last week as beloved apostle Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was admitted to a Utah hospital and released days later. Although the Church did not explain the reason for the hospitalization in its official statement, sources close to Holland confirm that the apostle fell violently ill after huffing an entire … Continue reading Confirmed: Elder Holland Released from Hospital After Vaping COVID-19 Sample to Gain Greater Empathy for Virus Victims

BYU refuses to drop ACT/SAT admission requirements; adds Old Testament themed obstacle course to application

Due to the widespread COVID-19 pandemic, many colleges and universities across the US have dropped the standardized testing requirement from their admissions process. BYU is not one of these schools. In a statement issued on Thursday, the school announced that the ACT/SAT was here to stay. A representative for the university also mentioned that the administration felt that more requirements were necessary. These additional requirements … Continue reading BYU refuses to drop ACT/SAT admission requirements; adds Old Testament themed obstacle course to application

BYU Announces Hybrid Classes For Fall Semester

After weeks of uncertainty, BYU has made the decision to hold hybrid classes for fall semester. The classes will focus mostly on the 2019 Ford Fusion, as Ford has agreed to sponsor future mechanics in their education. The Nissan Leaf and the Toyota Prius will also be discussed and examined. “I’m so excited about the hybrid classes!” said senior Mike Gerage, “I’ve been so sick … Continue reading BYU Announces Hybrid Classes For Fall Semester