President Nelson Hopes To Deploy Flocks of Seagulls to Defend Beehive State Against Murder Hornets
An anonymous source from Church Headquarters Salt Lake City reports that President Nelson is in talks with the leader of the California Gulls.
These meetings are in response to multiple reports about murder hornets invading the United States. The hornets are known to decapitate bees and destroy entire colonies. The source from Church Headquarters says that President Nelson is particularly concerned about what the invasive hornets could do in “The Beehive State”. Continue reading President Nelson Hopes To Deploy Flocks of Seagulls to Defend Beehive State Against Murder Hornets
President Worthen Mows Lawn for 4th Time This Week
With the virtual Spring term well underway and nothing to do but look out his window, sources confirm that President Kevin J. Worthen has become fixated on the state of his lawn. Neighbors have spotted him combing bushes with a hairbrush and report that he is at this very moment getting out the lawnmower to go over his front yard for the fourth time this … Continue reading President Worthen Mows Lawn for 4th Time This Week
Zoom Announces New Account Option ‘Zoom Singles,’ to Partner with Mutual as Date Hosting Platform
Earlier this week, Zoom announced the launch of their newest account option, “Zoom Singles.” Zoom, a video conferencing service widely used during social distancing efforts, plans to partner with Mutual to host dates organized on the dating app. “It’s a game-changing innovation in the dating world,” said a developer working on the upgrade. “Only issue was finding where to beta-test this option. We thought, ‘Who … Continue reading Zoom Announces New Account Option ‘Zoom Singles,’ to Partner with Mutual as Date Hosting Platform
Provo Landlords Concerned Online Classes Will Limit Rent Hikes
As BYU moves forward with online Spring term classes, Provo-area landlords are worried that moving classes online in the fall could present an issue to their business. While some apartment complexes have taken laudable steps to alleviate the stress their tenants are dealing with, others have taken a different approach. “With a decrease in students coming to Provo for classes, we anticipate the need to … Continue reading Provo Landlords Concerned Online Classes Will Limit Rent Hikes
BYU Announces New Custodial Internship and Y-Mountain Study Abroad Programs
In a move of unrivaled generosity, BYU has begun offering special internships for students who have had their internship offers rescinded. A statement from BYU reads: “We are extremely sorry for our students who lost internship offers. For many students, internships are the first step in their career journeys, and we do not want to deprive them of these opportunities. As of today, BYU is … Continue reading BYU Announces New Custodial Internship and Y-Mountain Study Abroad Programs
