Local Smith’s Grocery Store Installs Plasma-Accepting Cash Registers to ‘Cut Out Middleman’
Over the weekend, Smith’s updated their cash registers with a plethora of plasma-collecting medical equipment, officially kickstarting its “PlasmaPay” program for the college town of Provo. Starting today, customers may begin paying for their groceries directly with blood. This bold move, Smith’s executives claim, will save hundreds of poor students several hours a week by eliminating their need to visit official plasma collection facilities. “This … Continue reading Local Smith’s Grocery Store Installs Plasma-Accepting Cash Registers to ‘Cut Out Middleman’
Theater and Media Arts Department to Only Study Book of Mormon Films From Now On
The Theater and Media Arts Department announced that they will scrub all films from their curriculum except for the newly released “Book of Mormon” video series. “Everything that could be said about film has been said already,” said Thomas Johnson, Dean of the College, “Our students can learn everything they need to know from these really short clips.” Students studying film will be encouraged to … Continue reading Theater and Media Arts Department to Only Study Book of Mormon Films From Now On
Elon Musk Reveals Hyperloop Pilot Program to Overcome Provo Transportation Crisis
Elon Musk made a surprise announcement on behalf of SpaceX this morning, stating in a joint press conference with the City Council that Provo had been selected as the pilot city for Hyperloop transit. Musk sees the college town as the ideal spot to test this newest mode of transportation, due in part to its never-ending construction projects. The Hyperloop, which was originally pitched by … Continue reading Elon Musk Reveals Hyperloop Pilot Program to Overcome Provo Transportation Crisis
“Viewers Aren’t Taking Provo’s Most Eligible Seriously Enough” – What Do You Think?
Last night the second season of Provo’s Most Eligible aired on YouTube and hundreds of viewers, both local and abroad, tuned in to watch. Some viewers aren’t taking the show seriously. What do you think? “It’s a good thing the show is using actors. Putting actual people through that would just be wrong.” Joe Canabis | Mutual Profile Consultant “This is only funny because it’s … Continue reading “Viewers Aren’t Taking Provo’s Most Eligible Seriously Enough” – What Do You Think?
Provo’s Most Eligible Bingo
Are you the most eligible bingo-er in Provo? If you take Provo’s Most Eligible as seriously as we do at The Alternate Universe, this is your time to shine. As you watch season 2, be on the lookout for the events listed on the sheet below. If you get bingo, submit your winning sheet on the form at the bottom of the page and we’ll … Continue reading Provo’s Most Eligible Bingo
