Church Announces New Temples
The construction of 7 new temples was announced this past weekend in the Sunday afternoon session of October 2023 General Conference. Barbieland Bermuda Triangle, Atlantic Ocean Mordor, Middle Earth Novosibirsk, Siberia Disneyworld Kabul, Afghanistan Lake Powell, Utah Continue reading Church Announces New Temples
General Authorities scramble to finish talks after writers’ strike ends
Since the WGA strike ended earlier this week, the General Authorities and other Auxiliary officers have been scrambling to finish their talks. While not members of the guild, the planned speakers were refusing to write their talks in solidarity with those striking. Some are struggling more than others. The YW General Presidency are pooling together their resources. “As the new kids on the block, this … Continue reading General Authorities scramble to finish talks after writers’ strike ends
General Conference to Feature AGT-Style Buzzers
As part of a series of revelatory changes involving Church structure and meeting organization, the First Presidency announced this morning that, beginning with the October 2023 Session, General Conference will now feature a voting system not unlike that of the popular reality TV show America’s Got Talent. As detailed in the surprise press conference, each member of the First Presidency will be able to vote on … Continue reading General Conference to Feature AGT-Style Buzzers
Deseret Book Now a Spirit Halloween
Provo and Orem residents alike are beginning to notice a familiar orange banner on the storefront of what used to be the Deseret Book on University Parkway. Unbeknownst to the public, the prominent religious book chain had been struggling for the past 9 quarters. With CTR ring sales down 70%, the store had no way to keep its doors open. Just as quickly as it … Continue reading Deseret Book Now a Spirit Halloween
Dallin H. Oaks Morphs Into Bald Eagle In Honor of Constitution Month
In a stunning display of religious patriotism, President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency has publicly transformed himself into a bald eagle. The transformation occurred at the peak of the newly-christened “Constitution month,” an attempt by the Utah government to stave off growing “anti-American sentiments” among the young people. “I don’t even know how it happened,” observer Stevia Taylor commented. “Out of nowhere, I … Continue reading Dallin H. Oaks Morphs Into Bald Eagle In Honor of Constitution Month