Murder After Dark: Benoit Blanc Called to Solve Sudden MOA Homicide
Yet again, there has been a murder. A body was found in the Museum of Art on Friday, with no immediately obvious cause of death, other than the knife sticking out of his chest. Jahnyt Marriott, an experience design and management major, was discovered lying near the gift shop, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. The timing was poor, as deaths often are–Art After Dark was … Continue reading Murder After Dark: Benoit Blanc Called to Solve Sudden MOA Homicide
Mitt Romney Stepping Down From Senate to Teach American Heritage
After serving a single term in the U.S. Senate, Mitt Romney will not seek reelection and will instead teach American Heritage at BYU. The 76-year-old Senator from Utah is on record saying he is “done will all that political Shiz” and that he would “train the new generation of leaders” in exchange for unlimited chocolate milk. Many factors reportedly went into the decision. Romney would … Continue reading Mitt Romney Stepping Down From Senate to Teach American Heritage
Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple
Following the BYU football team’s nail biter victory against Arkansas, the First Presidency put out a statement to the press. “Considering his angelic athleticism and heroic one-handed catch on Saturday, it has been determined that a statue of Chase Roberts will replace the Angel Moroni on the remodeled Provo Temple.” Noted football fan Dallin H. Oaks further commented: “We were promised that we would see … Continue reading Chase Roberts To Replace Angel Moroni on Provo Temple
President Reese Officially changes BYU Name to “Y”
History has been made at the University formerly known as BYU. Just one day before his inauguration, President C. Shane Reese has announced that the University’s name will be permanently changed to the simpler “Y.” Reese said the change reflects his desire to “Make the ‘Y’ cooler than it has ever been” and hopes the students will immediately begin using the University’s new name. “It … Continue reading President Reese Officially changes BYU Name to “Y”
Guest List Revealed for Russell M. Nelson’s 99th Birthday Party
Over the weekend, President Russell M. Nelson celebrated his 99th birthday. He hosted a birthday party on Saturday night in the Conference Center, and The Alternate Universe obtained a copy of the guest list. Attendees included a number of celebrities and all 347 of Nelson’s descendants. Performances by Bad Bunny, Harry Styles, and Ice Spice got everybody dancing throughout the birthday bash. Russ himself even joined … Continue reading Guest List Revealed for Russell M. Nelson’s 99th Birthday Party