Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year
A mass mailing campaign initiated by the office of Governor Herbert reportedly landed a special poll in each and every Utah citizen’s mailbox this morning. The poll asks respondents “What is your preferred manner of death in 2020?” and then lists many possible options including COVID-19, an earthquake, killer hornets, and Danites. A special disclaimer at the bottom explains that although the State of Utah … Continue reading Governor Herbert Polls Citizens on What They Would Prefer to Die from This Year
Mitt Romney Can’t Find Anywhere to Sit in Capitol Building Cafeteria
One of the greatest traditions of our country is lunch at capitol hill. After various sessions in the House of Representatives and Senate, all the politicians sit together and eat a fine American classic: cafeteria food. In recent years, however, the great cafeteria that is the American government has become increasingly clique based. The Republicans sit with the Republicans, the Democrats sit with the Democrats, … Continue reading Mitt Romney Can’t Find Anywhere to Sit in Capitol Building Cafeteria
BYU Student-Athletes Returned to Campus Training Last Week – What Do You Think?
BYU student-athletes returned to campus on June 1 for the first time since mid-March when the university suspended all athletic events and closed facilities. What do you think? “Good. I was beginning to think athletes would be getting scholarships without putting themselves in any physical danger.” Betsy Loon – Very Enthusiastic “Have the coaches been told yet not to say anything racist?” Carter Kip – … Continue reading BYU Student-Athletes Returned to Campus Training Last Week – What Do You Think?
Provo Girls Prepare Their Parents for Upcoming Weddings With All Missionaries Returning Home Early
Missionaries have been returning from all over the world, catching the attention of over 68% of the single BYU females, who have begun actively updating their Pinterest wedding boards. “I had a three-year plan for BYU that included waiting for my missionary,” said Hayeleigh Holland. “Now that my boyfriend, Raustin, has been released, I need to speed up my plans so we can get married … Continue reading Provo Girls Prepare Their Parents for Upcoming Weddings With All Missionaries Returning Home Early
‘Burn It Down’ Tweets White Intellectual Living in Gated Community
For several days now, protests over death of George Floyd have been occurring all over America, and many in the media have voiced their support. Including Kevin Conrad, a journalist in Chicago. “Burn it down, those in power can afford it.” Kevin tweets from his large mansion in a gated community. “I support these people protesting, because I understand what it’s like to feel unheard” … Continue reading ‘Burn It Down’ Tweets White Intellectual Living in Gated Community