VidAngel to Censor Super Bowl LIV Halftime Show, Remove Shakira’s Hips
Following the September announcement that Shakira and Jennifer Lopez would be co-headlining this year’s Super Bowl LIV halftime show, public unrest has been high. The artists– known respectively for hits such as “Hips Don’t Lie” and “If You Had My Love” – have been hit with preemptive backlash over what people think the show will probably be like. “Her hips don’t lie,” retorted Joanne Davis, … Continue reading VidAngel to Censor Super Bowl LIV Halftime Show, Remove Shakira’s Hips
The Alternate Universe’s Guide to Super Bowl LIV
Super Bowl Sunday is one of the country’s grandest days. Nothing screams “America!” like sitting on a couch for four hours, staring at a screen, and eating food that isn’t even that good. The Alternate Universe has compiled this ultimate guide for you to navigate Super Bowl LIV. Who’s playing? The San Francisco 49ers, representing the Big 12 Conference, and the Kansas City Chiefs, representing … Continue reading The Alternate Universe’s Guide to Super Bowl LIV
General Conference Protester Convinced This Year He’ll Bring Church Crumbling Down
Early Friday morning, Salt Lake area protester Noah Hamsterner began his preparations for the October 2020 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. “It drives me crazy how these ‘sheeple’ keep coming and listening every year.” says Hamsterner, “This is the year that I’m going to bring the whole Church crumbling down. They’re not ready for the sign I’ve come up … Continue reading General Conference Protester Convinced This Year He’ll Bring Church Crumbling Down
CDC Declares Liberty Square in State of Emergency after Chemical Weapons Used in Parking Dispute
Even after Liberty Square management made parking spaces as small as possible – going so far as to hire physicists to ensure accuracy within the Planck Scale – it appears Provo’s widespread parking crisis has yet to be solved. After a series of escalating events, the Center for Disease Control had no choice but to declare a State of Emergency after anthrax was used in … Continue reading CDC Declares Liberty Square in State of Emergency after Chemical Weapons Used in Parking Dispute
BYU Issues Statement about NCMOs to Help Fight Coronavirus
By James West A new strain of coronavirus has been spreading across East Asia and has appeared in the United States. The Alternate Universe has been listening to the airwaves for a response from BYU. In this week’s letter from President Worthen, BYU has finally issued a statement about the coronavirus. The statement reads as follows: The coronavirus is spread through the mucous glands of … Continue reading BYU Issues Statement about NCMOs to Help Fight Coronavirus