5 Things to Know About Bread
Local Couple Spends Six Hours on Doorstep Saying Goodnight
Unable to part ways after curfew went into effect at 1:30 AM, BYU student Blake Emerson ended up standing with his girlfriend at her apartment door until the sun rose early Saturday morning. Emerson and his girlfriend Makeighla Simmons consider themselves “inseparable” and have pledged to not let BYU-approved housing rules get in the way of their undying love. “I remember finally checking my Apple … Continue reading Local Couple Spends Six Hours on Doorstep Saying Goodnight
BYU Milk and Cookie Bar Introduces Cover Charge, Bouncer, ID Policy to Help Students Understand the ‘Real Bar’ Experience
After the opening of the BYU Milk and Cookie bar was a great success, BYU administration has announced that the bar will serve purposes other than serving food. “We understand that some BYU students will not have a normal college experience, which would include going to bars. We decided to provide them with a pseudo-bar experience so they can relate to their non-Latter-day Saint peers … Continue reading BYU Milk and Cookie Bar Introduces Cover Charge, Bouncer, ID Policy to Help Students Understand the ‘Real Bar’ Experience
Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to Be Man in Costume in Shocking Scandal
BYU’s win over Boise State on Saturday was marred by a startling revelation, as the university admitted for the first time publicly that their beloved mascot, Cosmo, was not a real mountain lion. The announcement took the form of a mid-game recognition of those past charlatans who had dared deceive the public into thinking they were, in fact, a real living cougar. “I’m glad that … Continue reading Cosmo the Cougar Revealed to Be Man in Costume in Shocking Scandal
Honor Code Office Proposes Implanting Students with ‘Taser Chip’ to Prevent Chastity Line Infractions
Rumors have been flying all week after an ear-piercing siren was heard from the ASB on Monday. According to the Honor Code office, student honor dipped below the “righteousness threshold” this week, triggering alarms in all administrative offices. Honor Code officials have recognized the primary cause for low virtue levels among students— a recent trend of complete disregard for chastity lines in BYU-approved housing. Luckily … Continue reading Honor Code Office Proposes Implanting Students with ‘Taser Chip’ to Prevent Chastity Line Infractions
