Trump Lashes out at BYU for Outsourcing Students to Campus in Hawaii
In a series of strange tweets, the freshly inaugurated President Trump expressed his displeasure with Brigham Young University and their plans to continue “outsourcing” students overseas to a campus in Hawaii. President Trump lashed out at BYU immediately on his twitter page upon finding out this afternoon that 2,952 of the United States’ capable college students are currently enrolled in and taking classes on the … Continue reading Trump Lashes out at BYU for Outsourcing Students to Campus in Hawaii
BYU Student Scans Calorie Content to Decide if Mindlessly Eating All 8 Servings on Accident Will Cause Major Health Problems
With textbooks strewn all over her desk and laptop open in preparation for what most certainly will be a strenuous biology study session, Carly Jones took a few seconds’ pause to quickly scan the nutritional facts of her jumbo bag of Doritos and make sure that mindlessly consuming all servings in a single sitting wouldn’t cause her major health problems. After several seconds of number … Continue reading BYU Student Scans Calorie Content to Decide if Mindlessly Eating All 8 Servings on Accident Will Cause Major Health Problems
Writers at BYU AltUniverse Wonder if There’s a Point to Keeping “Sports” Page on Website
In their weekly staff meeting Wednesday, writers for the BYU Alternate Universe website grappled with the complicated issue of maintaining a page on their site dedicated entirely to sports articles. Concerns began to arise just several weeks after the website’s launch, as chief editor Warren Dusenberry noticed that not a single article had been written to fit in the “sports” category. Warren’s attempts to inspire … Continue reading Writers at BYU AltUniverse Wonder if There’s a Point to Keeping “Sports” Page on Website
Apartment Tense as Third Day of No One Buying New Toilet Paper Drags On
“Hey, looks like we’re still out of toilet paper.” John Caster, Sophomore, laughed offhandedly to his roommates last Friday after emerging from the bathroom. While appearing cool and collected on the outside, John is reportedly only one more emergency bathroom visit away from breaking down. Our sources confirm that apartment #347 of King Henry is now in its third day of no one buying new … Continue reading Apartment Tense as Third Day of No One Buying New Toilet Paper Drags On
BYU FHE Family Uncomfortable as Jessica Questions “Parents”
BYU FHE family group 6 of the 52nd ward of the BYU YSA 4th stake had an uncomfortable weekly meeting this past Monday as family member Jessica began questioning her FHE Mom and Dad. “So Mom, how did you and Dad meet? Was it, like, love at first sight or did you date a ton first before getting married?” “Did it take you a … Continue reading BYU FHE Family Uncomfortable as Jessica Questions “Parents”