Graduating Seniors Advised to Cut Down On Family Members

This year’s Commencement Ceremony allows those graduating to bring only three guests. Because no seniors belong to family units that minuscule, the university has advised severing relationships before graduation day arrives. For a church culturally known for encouraging large families, this regulation has struck many as contradictory. This advice has led many graduating seniors to great distress. Many were viewed staring at photos of their … Continue reading Graduating Seniors Advised to Cut Down On Family Members

Beyoncé Performs “16 Covered Wagons” at General Conference

In an effort to compete in the ratings with the Men’s Final Four games, the Church enlisted the help of singer Beyoncé. The “Halo” singer agreed to perform at the Saturday Evening Session of General Conference in order to promote her new album Cowboy Carter. With the help of the Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square and the accompaniment of the organ, Beyoncé performed a new arrangement … Continue reading Beyoncé Performs “16 Covered Wagons” at General Conference

Secret to Eternal Life Stated Clearly in Church Audit Report You Ignored

On the morning of April 6, 2024, at precisely 10:31 AM, brother Jared B. Larsen gave the audit report at the Saturday morning session of General Conference. Unbeknownst to  higher-ups, however, his report contained the secret to eternal life, coded in the language of boring financial jargon. “I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” Russell M. Nelson, watching from home, said. “It’s lowkey clutch I … Continue reading Secret to Eternal Life Stated Clearly in Church Audit Report You Ignored