SpaceX Astronauts Really Hoping for Clear Weather so They Can Get Off the Planet before Anything Else Horrible Happens
After a failed launch on Wednesday afternoon due to unfavorable weather, astronauts Robert Behnken and Douglas Hurley are eager to get to the International Space Station as quickly as possible. “We were just devastated about the weather. You know, we’ll be spending significant time up there away from our friends and family. It’s a big commitment, not to mention all the important ways we’ll advance … Continue reading SpaceX Astronauts Really Hoping for Clear Weather so They Can Get Off the Planet before Anything Else Horrible Happens
Seeking to Do Their Part, Nation’s Karens Flood ‘Racism Inc.’ with Complaints, Negative Reviews
Typically Karens are known for berating restaurant staff and making unreasonable demands of grocery store workers. Lately however, they’ve utilized their grievance airing capabilities for good. While millions around the country idly watch the protests and riots in Minneapolis, thousands of suburban soccer moms have thrown their support behind activists in the best way they know. By early Thursday morning hundreds of negative Yelp! reviews … Continue reading Seeking to Do Their Part, Nation’s Karens Flood ‘Racism Inc.’ with Complaints, Negative Reviews
“It’s a Good Thing There’s No Racism at BYU,” Says White Midwestern Student
Recent coverage of police brutality towards black Americans across the nation have left much of the public shocked and outraged. With such perturbing acts of violence happening to such a significant portion of the population, some young people are trying to keep their idealism intact by looking to the bright side. “Police brutality is an awful thing,” said Owen McKay, a BYU student from the … Continue reading “It’s a Good Thing There’s No Racism at BYU,” Says White Midwestern Student
BYU Delays Fall Registration To Give Students, Faculty More Time To Binge Avatar: The Last Airbender
An email sent to all BYU students on Monday announced the delay of registration for fall semester classes. The email stated that, since the hit show “Avatar: The Last Airbender” had been recently added to Netflix, no one should be focusing on important things right now. According to University Communications Chair Robert G. Zuko, President Worthen is a big fan of the series, and considers … Continue reading BYU Delays Fall Registration To Give Students, Faculty More Time To Binge Avatar: The Last Airbender
Frazzled Ward Clerk Finally Figures Out Why Church Attendance Has Been So Low Since Mid-March
Scott Cook, a computer science major in his third year, serves as Ward Clerk in the Provo 110 YSA ward. Each Sunday since being called last year, Scott dutifully emerged from his private room to count the attending members. But on March 15, Scott, blissfully unaware of current events, arrived for sacrament only to find himself the sole attendee. He texted the bishop, asking where … Continue reading Frazzled Ward Clerk Finally Figures Out Why Church Attendance Has Been So Low Since Mid-March